Are you a Geodude? Cause you're face is rockin'!

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You wanna have sex and get married?? Ok... Sorry.

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Let's not turn this rape... into a murder

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Roses are red, Violets are Blue, Dont talk to me, and I wont talk to you.

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Is that a mirror in your pocket? Use it next time you put your d**n make-up on.

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Girlfriend: you are much more naive when you are naked, and a small penis, no hair and are 23 years old

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If you were Mufasa I'd help scar push you off the ledge

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Hey girl, you a single mom I heard, I love that. Really? :D SURE! Hey just between us, how sexy are your kids on a scale from one to over nine thousand? Moral: Watch out ladies, I can only take care of so many of you... (you have kids? Meh, get lost,nothing personal, just you know... your kid)

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-Do you come here often? -Yeah, but now that you're here, I think I'll find another bar.

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Man: Do you like a sensitive guy? Women: Yeah, I used to be one.

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It's not Rapee If you yell surprise!

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Man: Oh.. girl you smell so nice... Girl: TRY ANOTHER LINE AND STOP LOOKING AT MY TlTS LOSER! Man: Uh... I am blind... Girl: Um...

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- If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put 'U' and 'I' together. - No, it's okay. 'N' and 'O' are already together.

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man-hey baby you wanna go somewhere girl-no thanks hells over there

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I have the smallest erected dick in town, if you don't believe me ask my mama!

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Guy- Hey girl do u like math Girl-um, sure Guy- ok I got a problem... Add a bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs and multiply the bodies.... What does that equal.... Girl- u and ur homo friends

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You smell just like my mom...

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What did the priest say to the rabbi? We are both religious figures at the head of our places of worship.

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Farewell to thy, you have been most amusing. Moral: Has left the building.

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I right next to each other. You say that you want me? Well don't what you come for!!

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male-"Do you have a rape fetish?" fenale-"No, i don't" male-"Ohh... Well you're not going enjoy this."

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Hey babe wats ur sign Caution men at work

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You must be a parking ticket. Because you are dressed like i'd have to pay.

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Hey you've got the most beautiful f*cked up teeth I've ever seen.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!