Man, stay alive, I dont even got time to read that shit. See you around son.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

"Are you a parking ticket?" "What?" "You’ve got fine written all over you"

thumb_up thumb_down +32

hey, your cute. hey, your not.

thumb_up thumb_down +67

Man: There is a U and I in beautiful Woman: Ya, but there is only a U in ugly

thumb_up thumb_down -59

- hey id like my order for you - ok we put extra punch with it these days

thumb_up thumb_down -81

A 85 year old man was at a bar, he goes up to the first hot thing he sees and asks do I come here often?

thumb_up thumb_down +102

If I could rearange the alphabet id put "I-W-A-N-T-S-E-X-Y-O-U together. SIr, not really but that was kinda impressive. Me: I know...

thumb_up thumb_down +62

Q: Why are Italian girls so hairy? A: Because it turns out its a genetic predisposition in which almost all males and females have when of the Italian ethnicity, these genetics are also parts of other race types.

thumb_up thumb_down +58

Why do cops eat donuts so much? Because they are delish

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Man: Lets have some fun ;) Woman: Sure! Man: Starts telling jokes. Woman: Funny but I thought... Man: What? Woman: Well its a bit uh... silly of me but I thought that we where getting at your place, having a drink and... Man: What? I said fun, not date rape! Woman: Wow... this is really getting nowhere is it? Author: Hell no! Moral: This "anti-pickup" was not even finished and you want a moral too? Pssssssssssssssssshhhhh....

thumb_up thumb_down -56

man-hey baby you wanna go somewhere girl-no thanks hells over there

thumb_up thumb_down -78

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I right next to each other. You say that you want me? Well don't what you come for!!

thumb_up thumb_down -116

The word of the day is legs. Lets go to your place and spread the word

thumb_up thumb_down +87

Your butt is so big that I would propably lose intrest during sex.

thumb_up thumb_down +49

-Wanna go to my place? -Actually, I was gonna ask you the same question. -Really? Where do you live? -In a sexual harassment class.

thumb_up thumb_down -107

She - Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? becuase your-- He - I did not fall from heaven, you ignorant little twat.

thumb_up thumb_down -111

Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

thumb_up thumb_down +182

If you were my daughter id still be bathing you

thumb_up thumb_down +150

-Hey, have we met before? -No, because I don't remember ever seeing a face that made me this nauseous.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Male: Are you from Tennessee? Female: Why? Male: Cus you look like an inbred hick

thumb_up thumb_down +33

You want to sleep with me and i want to sleep with you. I'm at least half right.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

Baby if you were homework, I would do you all the time

thumb_up thumb_down -95

Hey, are you from Tennessee? Because you look like you are from Tennessee.

thumb_up thumb_down -127

Guy: You look two times as beautiful with makup on. Girl: Really? I think you would too.

thumb_up thumb_down +98

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!