Damn gurl, are you a microwave? Cause for sure you are burning me hot.

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- Have we met? - Honey, we're not meeting now.

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Roses are red violets are blue i got a gun get in the van!

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Do you have cancer, because you look diseased.

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roses are red violets are blue My dog gives me a bigger orgasm then you

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that shirt looks nice on you, it would look better on the floor

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Man: Hey yo sexy, wanna do it in the toilet so I can brag about banging the prom queen? The toilets are dirty but I got aids anyways and... Fine brit Lady: Eh well sire, you see... SURE! Moral: ANTICLIMACTIC ENDING SUCCESS!

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He: Let me be the reason you're up all night. She: You will be. I always wake up when I have nightmares.

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if I could re-arrange the alphabet, I'd put my dick in your ass

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Man: I bet I can scream so loud I can break the walls this post is made of. Woman: Pfff bullshit.. Man: POOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEER!!! Woman: Wow, I wanna go home with you! Man: Sorry, I dont wanna go home with you Moral I dont bang women I "have something to prove to" if ever... heck just ask a woman what makes her cool enough to ask/demand you to prove yourself... and you may just hit the soft spot...

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Hey, girl. Looking for a stud? Cuz I've got the STD and all I need is U

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Woman: Hey you look hot and cool, wanna chat? "Man": Meh.. I just stand here with my beerglass trying to look cool in hopes that women ask me out... Woman: UGH! "Man": May I please come with you? Eh... where are you going... HEY! Moral: Trying to look like James Bond in the darkest corner of a bar is not flirting you trucking moron!

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- I'm a weatherman, and I'm predicting 9 inches tonight ;) - Oh? Well weathermen aren't always accurate, so it's probably more like 3 inches.

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How can you tell if an elephant has been in your fridge? Broken fridge.

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Woman- is your penis erect? Male- no just FULL SIZED Woman- woah

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Did it hurt when you fell from heaven and banged every guy on the way down?

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Hey baby, you're really hot, I like girls with some meat for my bone.

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Famous male actors guide on pick-up. 1. Enter Disco. 2. Say hello out loud. 3. By this point you`re screwed... literally.

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You must be tired... I assume you are because I am after following you on your four mile run through the park today.

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Are you from tennessee? Because your inbred and retarted.

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If you were a booger, that'd be pretty nasty.

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Man: HELP! HELP! MY PENIS IS GONE! SOMEONE HELP ME FIND IT! Woman: OMG I am a nurse, we must find it before its too late! Where did you last see it? Man: It... it was around inside my pants somewhere... It should not be too hard to find it... cuz its pretty big...

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Eat me, I'm organic!

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"Damn, if being sexy was a crime, you'd be guilty as charged!" "My parole officer would go nuts!"

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!