Roses are red, Violets are Blue, Dont talk to me, and I wont talk to you.

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-Want to get on your knees and suck my dick? -No thanks, I have enough Tic Tacs at home.

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Guy: Where have you been all my life? Girl: In my room hiding from you.

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If you were on a shelf at build a bear workshop ....... I would stuff you , except it wouldn't be with cotton

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Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

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Guy- Hey girl do u like math Girl-um, sure Guy- ok I got a problem... Add a bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs and multiply the bodies.... What does that equal.... Girl- u and ur homo friends

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Hey, you want a ride?

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-Do you mind if i smoke? -No. I dont even mind if you burn....

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Guy: You look two times as beautiful with makup on. Girl: Really? I think you would too.

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I take the the out of psychotherapist

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Shall I compare you to a summer's day? Damn you're hot!

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- hey id like my order for you - ok we put extra punch with it these days

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-ILY -Aw. Spell it out it will make it more special. -I'm Leaving You

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You have lovely eyes. They'll look better in a pile on my floor in the morning.

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-Hey baby,what's your sign? (; -Do not enter. >_>

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hey, your cute. hey, your not.

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- If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put 'U' and 'I' together. - No, it's okay. 'N' and 'O' are already together.

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Man at bar: Hey girls... want my banana in your pajamas? ;) ;) ;) Girls: YEAH! Man: "thinks for himself..."... man I never get this reaction from girls.. you are a bunch of skanks and sluts... (leaves the bar) In the end, we are never happy with what we get are we? yeah... this is kinda the moral of this story... (Ps: My banana in your pajamas... I got a girlfriend, but someday Im gonna try that pick up line... hahahaha

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Girlfriend: you are much more naive when you are naked, and a small penis, no hair and are 23 years old

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Is your dad a terrorist?? 'Cause you're a sex bomb.

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On a scale from one to ten, you're about a two.

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Man: Do you like a sensitive guy? Women: Yeah, I used to be one.

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Let's not turn this rape... into a murder

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Roses are red Violets are blue Im a serial killer So GTFO before i kill you

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!