This one is for the ladies: Man: If I could put 6 and 9 on my calculator we would have the greatest time ever ;) Woman: If you did that id just put 911 on my cellphone.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Im a serial killer So GTFO before i kill you

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If I could rearange the alphabet id put "I-W-A-N-T-S-E-X-Y-O-U together. SIr, not really but that was kinda impressive. Me: I know...

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Shall I compare you to a summer's day? Damn you're hot!

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Is that a mirror in your pocket? Use it next time you put your d**n make-up on.

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"Are you a parking ticket?" "What?" "You’ve got fine written all over you"

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On a scale from one to ten, you're about a two.

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I right next to each other. You say that you want me? Well don't what you come for!!

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-Do you mind if i smoke? -No. I dont even mind if you burn....

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I hate you already.

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Boy- is that a mirror in your pants? Girl-? Boy-because i see my self in your pants Girl-oh this, this is a picture of crap!

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Dude: Do you have insurance on you ass? Gal: Why? Dude: Because Im about to hit it. Gal: I hope you have insurance on your face (punch).

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Guy: You look two times as beautiful with makup on. Girl: Really? I think you would too.

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Did you just fart? Cause it smells like shit in here

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Sosiopath vs How I met your mother: Kids, this is how I met your mother. I saw her at some store, I said "Hey sexy" She told me to fuck off, so I raped her, got out of prison years later, and kids, that is how I met your mother. ...Why I am leaving? Did I ever fucking say I was your father? I Just came here to tell you I raped and killed her after serving my time which was about 2 minutes, so kids, that is how I killed your mother. YOU ARE WELCOME BY THE WAY! Ungrateful kids... Moral of the story: If they are your kids, just say no and get away, and kill Robin for better television. Bonus because nobody loves you :( Me? People either love me around here, or you know... cough... psst...rapeandie? Lets keep that a secret between us and EEEEEVEEEERYBODY ELLLLLLLSSEEEEEE (SECRET ABOVE ALERT ALERT ALERT!) Sosiopath vs Grounded for life Moral: Shot the little kid, nobody will notice, not even his own family.

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Why do cops eat donuts so much? Because they are delish

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Man: Do you like a sensitive guy? Women: Yeah, I used to be one.

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Your father must have been a theif, because you look like a pikiey

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hey, your cute. hey, your not.

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I take the the out of psychotherapist

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- hey id like my order for you - ok we put extra punch with it these days

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Male: Did you get your tickes to the barbercue? Female: What barbercue? Male: The barbercue where i put my meat on your face.

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I lost my phone number, can I have yours?

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If I could re-arrange the alphabet, I'd probably leave it as is, seems to be working OK just fine without my internvention. And imagine the work it'd create in terms of all the re-filing alone. Librarians would have apoplexy, and if I came out I was responsible..well, there'd be hell to pay. No, thank you, but no thank you, the alphabet can stay as it is, no matter how hot your body.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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