Is that a mirror in your pocket? Use it next time you put your d**n make-up on.

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-ILY -Aw. Spell it out it will make it more special. -I'm Leaving You

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If you were a booger, that'd be pretty nasty.

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Guy: Where have you been all my life? Girl: In my room hiding from you.

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-Do you mind if i smoke? -No. I dont even mind if you burn....

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-Are you the sun? -No.. Why? -Because you need to stay 93,000,000 miles away from me.

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If you were on a shelf at build a bear workshop ....... I would stuff you , except it wouldn't be with cotton

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Your father must have been a theif, because you look like a pikiey

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Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

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You have lovely eyes. They'll look better in a pile on my floor in the morning.

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Guy: You look two times as beautiful with makup on. Girl: Really? I think you would too.

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Man at bar: Hey girls... want my banana in your pajamas? ;) ;) ;) Girls: YEAH! Man: "thinks for himself..."... man I never get this reaction from girls.. you are a bunch of skanks and sluts... (leaves the bar) In the end, we are never happy with what we get are we? yeah... this is kinda the moral of this story... (Ps: My banana in your pajamas... I got a girlfriend, but someday Im gonna try that pick up line... hahahaha

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Shall I compare you to a summer's day? Damn you're hot!

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-Hey baby,what's your sign? (; -Do not enter. >_>

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Is your dad a terrorist?? 'Cause you're a sex bomb.

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hey, your cute. hey, your not.

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Man: Oh.. girl you smell so nice... Girl: TRY ANOTHER LINE AND STOP LOOKING AT MY TlTS LOSER! Man: Uh... I am blind... Girl: Um...

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Boy: did it hurt when you fell from heaven Girl: I'm a antsiest

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On a scale from one to ten, you're about a two.

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- If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put 'U' and 'I' together. - No, it's okay. 'N' and 'O' are already together.

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Let's not turn this rape... into a murder

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male-"Do you have a rape fetish?" fenale-"No, i don't" male-"Ohh... Well you're not going enjoy this."

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Girlfriend: you are much more naive when you are naked, and a small penis, no hair and are 23 years old

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If you were a booger, I'd pick you first.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!