Are you from tennessee? Cause you've got fine written all over you.

What did the priest say to the rabbi? We are both religious figures at the head of our places of worship.

Is that a mirror in your pocket? Use it next time you put your d**n make-up on.

Girlfriend: you are much more naive when you are naked, and a small penis, no hair and are 23 years old

Guy: Where have you been all my life? Girl: In my room hiding from you.

Do you have cancer, because you look diseased.

- hey baby i wanna show you something - wait i wanna show you something too -what is it? -my fists

If you were on a shelf at build a bear workshop ....... I would stuff you , except it wouldn't be with cotton

I have the smallest erected dick in town, if you don't believe me ask my mama!

—do you believe in love at first sight or shall I come back again? —no, and I think you shall not come back ever.

- Hey baby! You make my heart beat. - Oh, well you make my stomach churn.

This tux is rented by the hour, are you?

-Are you the sun? -No.. Why? -Because you need to stay 93,000,000 miles away from me.

Roses are Red, Violets are blue, I cant rhyme, ever since my dog and I were walking down the street and then he died and then i cried and then i died and then he cried

If you were a booger, that'd be pretty nasty.

Sigh... No I do not have a van... Just get in the plane!

Are u in the army cause u make my private stand at attention.

-I work for the FBI -Oh I work for the CIA, maybe we'll see each other at a meeting -Yeah I'm in the Female Body Inspector division -I'm in the Can the Idiot Absent himself division

-ILY -Aw. Spell it out it will make it more special. -I'm Leaving You

Are you a dinosaur? Because you look like you got hit by an asteroid.

This one is for the ladies: Man: If I could put 6 and 9 on my calculator we would have the greatest time ever ;) Woman: If you did that id just put 911 on my cellphone.

Boy: did it hurt when you fell from heaven Girl: I'm a antsiest

Hey baby, can I cream in your chocolate?

It's not Rapee If you yell surprise!

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!