Woman- is your penis erect? Male- no just FULL SIZED Woman- woah

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Did it hurt when you fell from heaven and banged every guy on the way down?

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guy: wanna make some money? girl: Na, I do it for free, i'm offering free herpes

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He: Hey bay wanna danc- She: Leave.

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Why do cops eat donuts so much? Because they are delish

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Hey baby, can I cream in your chocolate?

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On a scale from one to ten, you're about a two.

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-If I could rearrange the alphabet... that would be nice..

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do you clean your pants with windex cause i can see myself in them

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What's your sign? Slippery when wet.

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Did you fall from heaven? Because, I believe in the afterlife.

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- Professor Dumbledore, where are we? - You're dead, stupid. Snape trolled you.

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To my story below, I now remember why she never took me seriously... While I was staring at her erect nipples she asked me if I was gay, I replied "uhuh", to everything as I was too busy looking at what I could have grabbed that day... Moral: FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU! Today she looks uh... less appealing in more ways than one.... but lets not go into details, I need to get something out here... FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU! In 40 years at my deathbed: The only thing I regret is... is... DAMN! FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

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How can you tell if an elephant has been in your fridge? Broken fridge.

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"Are you a parking ticket?" "What?" "You’ve got fine written all over you"

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This one is for the ladies: Man: If I could put 6 and 9 on my calculator we would have the greatest time ever ;) Woman: If you did that id just put 911 on my cellphone.

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Do you wanna go halves in a bastard?

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M: What's a pretty girl like you doing in a dirty mind like mine? F: Running and screaming for help

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Male: I'd give her one Female: I wouldn't have sex with you if you were the last person on earth Male: I was rating you out of 10 you ugly bitch

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I told my wife I met someone who looked just like her she asked Was she gorgeous I didn't know what to say.

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Man: Hey you are so pretty I bet you are a hooker! Woman: Uh.. thanks but no.. Man: Damn... I was hoping to get laid tonight...

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I take the the out of psychotherapist

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Famous male actors guide on pick-up. 1. Enter Disco. 2. Say hello out loud. 3. By this point you`re screwed... literally.

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boy - would you like to dance? girl - hell no! boy - I think you misunderstood me. I said you look fat in those pants. girl - That's why I said "Hell No!" girl - I'm trying to deny the fact that I look fat in my pants. boy - damnit! girl - Phew!

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!