- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Can I have your number? -I don't have one.

- You must be a parking ticket cause you have fine written all over you - You must be a wellfare check then.

-You look like a dream. -Go back to sleep.

Your body would look good in my trunk.

Did the lord take the thunder from the skies, and put it in your thighs?

-Hey cutie, how 'bout you and I hitting the hot spots? -Sorry, I don't date outside my species.

-I can see forever in your eyes. -But all I can see is never in yours.

Are you an erection? 'Cause you're growing on me.

Hey baby me you CHOIN CHOIN under the moonlight..

"Don't scream"

Walking to your car alone later?

Is Heaven missing an Angel? Because I have an erection.

You're place or mine? Both, you go to yours and I go to mine.

Six simple words: I'm not gay, but I'll learn.

I have no gag reflex.

you actually look alright with the lights on.

-Your feet must be tired 'cuz you've been running through my mind. -Yea, I was running away from you.

My penis just died. Can I bury it in your ass?

-Baby, do you know karate? Your body is kickin'! -I do actually. Would your crotch like a demonstration?

-can i buy you a drink? i buy you a taxi?

- Haven't we met before? - Yes, I'm the receptionist at the VD Clinic.

-Does beauty run in your family? -It obviously doesn't in yours!

- So, wanna go back to my place? - Well, I don't know. Will two people fit under a rock?

Your father must be a thief, because I saw him stealing at Target earlier.

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book