-Your feet must be tired 'cuz you've been running through my mind. -Yea, I was running away from you.

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Your body would look good in my trunk.

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-If I saw you naked, I'd die happy. -If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.

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Is Heaven missing an Angel? Because I have an erection.

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-Baby, do you know karate? Your body is kickin'! -I do actually. Would your crotch like a demonstration?

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- You must be a parking ticket cause you have fine written all over you - You must be a wellfare check then.

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"Don't scream"

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I have no gag reflex.

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My penis just died. Can I bury it in your ass?

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Six simple words: I'm not gay, but I'll learn.

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- Haven't we met before? - Yes, I'm the receptionist at the VD Clinic.

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Did the lord take the thunder from the skies, and put it in your thighs?

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-What sign were you born under? -No Parking.

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Hey baby me you CHOIN CHOIN under the moonlight..

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-can i buy you a drink? i buy you a taxi?

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Tonight might be a convienient night for us to have some intercourse.

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- So, wanna go back to my place? - Well, I don't know. Will two people fit under a rock?

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-What's your name sexy? -Taken!

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-Does beauty run in your family? -It obviously doesn't in yours!

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-I looked up beautiful in the thesaurus today and your name was included. -Thanks! Hey, I saw your name next to jerk.

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-What`s it like being the most beautiful girl in the bar? -What`s it like being the biggest liar in the world?

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you actually look alright with the lights on.

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Hey, we have coresponding genetailia, we should converge in sexual intercourse.

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- I can tell that you want me. - Ohhhh. You're so right. I want you to leave.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!