- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Man: Do you like a sensitive guy? Women: Yeah, I used to be one.

Man: So you will come home with me later? Girl: Sure! Man: Great then ill just go find more women I can bang later in the meantime... Moral: Depending of the kind of woman, this is of no consequence...

Q: Where did Bethany hide the dead baby? A: In the trash can

Boy: did it hurt when you fell from heaven Girl: I'm a antsiest

Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

At a concert guy- hey if you were that drum set, i'd bang you on that stage all night

I lost my phone number, can I have yours?

Guy:Are you wearing space pants, cause that ass is out of this world! Girl:No, they're baseball pants, cuz this ass is out of your league.

- hey baby i wanna show you something - wait i wanna show you something too -what is it? -my fists

Girl: Are you a doctor? Because I think I have the flu. sneeze

Roses are red Violets are blue Im a serial killer So GTFO before i kill you

Why do cops eat donuts so much? Because they are delish

Man: Your body is a temple! Woman: Sorry, no services today.

Guy: If I could rearange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together Girl: If I could rearange the alphabet, I'd put F and U together

He: Did it hurt? She: When I fell from heaven? heard it before... He: No, when you fell from the ugly tree!

Stable relationships are for horses.

Hey baby wana come over for dinner? Sure whats cookin? Your dead body after I kill ur ugly face derrp

(Guy mumbles a bit, then says): You don't know me, but can I get you a drink? Yeah, sure... OK. HAHAHAA!!! Before I asked if you wanted a drink I mumbled "Do you want to have sex"? And you said yes! HAHAHAA!!!

Hey baby, are you Star Trek? Because I watch you every night in the darkness.

Guy- Hey girl do u like math Girl-um, sure Guy- ok I got a problem... Add a bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs and multiply the bodies.... What does that equal.... Girl- u and ur homo friends

I hate you already.

Did you fall from heaven? Cause you d*** sure look like a demon!

- Have we met? - Honey, we're not meeting now.

Dude: Do you have insurance on you ass? Gal: Why? Dude: Because Im about to hit it. Gal: I hope you have insurance on your face (punch).

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book