Hey baby wana come over for dinner? Sure whats cookin? Your dead body after I kill ur ugly face derrp

-ILY -Aw. Spell it out it will make it more special. -I'm Leaving You

*At a concert* guy- hey if you were that drum set, i'd bang you on that stage all night

Shy-guy: Hey uh, girl, we have been on like 40 dates, what do you um... You know say we go to my place for once and have some drinks? Shy-girl: Eh, well su-sure I mean its been over forty dates, but ill just take coffee if its oka... Shy-guy: OMG YOU DAMN EASY SKANK! HOLY SHIT YOU WHERE GONNA GIVE IT ALL WHERE YOU NOT? LOL NO TIME FOR DESPERATE BlTCHES! Moral: Not to be confused with the slightly less popular Nintendo character Shy Guy

I stole this pickup line from Antipickupline.com.

He: Did it hurt? She: Aww when I fell from heaven? Thanks! He: No, when you fell from the whore tree and banged every guy on the way down. She:...

Is that a mirror in your pocket? because I can... Yes actually, it's my new LCD Mirror Screen Protector for my iPhone.

Guy: Did you use Windex on your pants? Girl: No, why? Guy: Because I see myself in your pants.

I'd take you to the zoo but you might be mistaken for an elephant

Famous male actors guide on pick-up. 1. Enter Disco. 2. Say hello out loud. 3. By this point you`re screwed... literally.

Woman: Hey you look hot and cool, wanna chat? "Man": Meh.. I just stand here with my beerglass trying to look cool in hopes that women ask me out... Woman: UGH! "Man": May I please come with you? Eh... where are you going... HEY! Moral: Trying to look like James Bond in the darkest corner of a bar is not flirting you trucking moron!

- Professor Dumbledore, where are we? - You're dead, stupid. Snape trolled you.

Super man and Lois lane doing it... Supes: WOMAN I AM SO uh.. tHORNY that I want to thrust as hard as I can and... Lois: YAAAAAAAAAAARGH! Supes: Oh noes! R.I.P Lois Lane... Ripped In Pieces Indeed... Moral: Hey at least moral man can get laid... (a moral man fake... well actually original)

Girlfriend: you are much more naive when you are naked, and a small penis, no hair and are 23 years old

Male: Did you get your tickes to the barbercue? Female: What barbercue? Male: The barbercue where i put my meat on your face.

Man; Wanna play the rape game? Girl; No Man; That's the spirit

- hey baby i wanna show you something - wait i wanna show you something too -what is it? -my fists

Man at bar: Hey girls... want my banana in your pajamas? ;) ;) ;) Girls: YEAH! Man: "thinks for himself..."... man I never get this reaction from girls.. you are a bunch of skanks and sluts... (leaves the bar) In the end, we are never happy with what we get are we? yeah... this is kinda the moral of this story... (Ps: My banana in your pajamas... I got a girlfriend, but someday Im gonna try that pick up line... hahahaha

Man: Did it hurt when you fell out of heaven? Woman: Did it hurt when they kicked-- *sound of gun clicking* Woman: Thanks!

- Hey baby! You make my heart beat. - Oh, well you make my stomach churn.

Guy: Hey :) Guy: Hey to you too :) Don't jump to conclusions people. They're gay.

Did you fall from heaven? Because, I believe in the afterlife.

-hey, come here a minute.

Order Online Nightwear and short shop online in India

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!