Why do cops eat donuts so much? Because they are delish

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He: Let me be the reason you're up all night. She: You will be. I always wake up when I have nightmares.

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Guy: wow! Why are you naked and on top of me? Girl: What are you talking about! We are at a bar! Guy: Oh sorry I am a psychic and keep getting flashes of the near future...

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Man: Did it hurt when you fell out of heaven? Woman: Did it hurt when they kicked-- *sound of gun clicking* Woman: Thanks!

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He: Did it hurt? She: Aww when I fell from heaven? Thanks! He: No, when you fell from the whore tree and banged every guy on the way down. She:...

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Female: You're hot! Male: hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha get in the van.

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I take the the out of psychotherapist

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-Hey, have we met before? -No, because I don't remember ever seeing a face that made me this nauseous.

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- Does this napkin smell like chloroform to you? There is no response because she passed out from it and he leaves in order to void suspicion.

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i'm a doctor.... maybe i can fix that thing you call a face

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You must be tired... I assume you are because I am after following you on your four mile run through the park today.

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-As I slipped my finger in her hole I could feel her getting wetter and wetter, When I pulled it out she was going down on me. I should probably start looking for a new boat...

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Man: Your body is a temple! Woman: Sorry, no services today.

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-Want my number? -I already know it. It's 1. -Phone numbers have more then one digit... -Oh, I thought we were referring to your IQ level...my bad.

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Did you fall from heaven because you landed on my wind shield some how

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At a bar (how creative): Man: I bet you look beautiful behind those tits... Woman: WHAT DO YOU MEAN DONKEYHOLE!?!?!?! Man: Uh... well I mean I really cant see your face and... Moral: Silicone tits are nice too... in MODERATION FFS!

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- Professor Dumbledore, where are we? - You're dead, stupid. Snape trolled you.

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Super man and Lois lane doing it... Supes: WOMAN I AM SO uh.. tHORNY that I want to thrust as hard as I can and... Lois: YAAAAAAAAAAARGH! Supes: Oh noes! R.I.P Lois Lane... Ripped In Pieces Indeed... Moral: Hey at least moral man can get laid... (a moral man fake... well actually original)

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Man: Oh crap I don't have a condom Woman: Don't worry I have one

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Why was the little boy crying? Because he dropped his hamster in the garbage disposal

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are you from tennessee? because your license plate said it.

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Sugar-free sugar cookies

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Boy:do you know to spell "Idiot" with just one word? Girl:how? Boy:U

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Intro music with slow motion running starts as I shut off the tv forever

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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