-hey, come here a minute.

Man: I bet I can scream so loud I can break the walls this post is made of. Woman: Pfff bullshit.. Man: POOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEER!!! Woman: Wow, I wanna go home with you! Man: Sorry, I dont wanna go home with you Moral I dont bang women I "have something to prove to" if ever... heck just ask a woman what makes her cool enough to ask/demand you to prove yourself... and you may just hit the soft spot...

Male: Baby, I am God's gift to this earth! Female: Well, if I take a receipt up to Heaven, can I exchange you for someone better?

For you thinking what is that shit below this comment? Go fuck yourself, for those that wonder why I typed that excellence, well read whatever... So why am I here once a year and type a lot of insanity here? Because I am quitting smoking... AGAIN. So after banging two chicks (one my wife STEAKSAUCE!) I just want a smoke right? RIGHT? To chill the adrenaline... My wife does not smoke (well if you can smoke cock then she is still the best smoker in town) Seriously, Tina has Prince... That explains her breath ugh... I am gonna get one anyways for great justice.

Do you have cancer, because you look diseased.

If you were a booger i would pick you Good thing you have no hands

Man: Your body is a temple! Woman: Sorry, no services today.

Hey lady, you're really, really cute! Let's go out in the woods, GET NAKED and have sex!

Do women shake the petrol pump after filling or is that just a guy thing?

Man: Hey yo sexy, wanna do it in the toilet so I can brag about banging the prom queen? The toilets are dirty but I got aids anyways and... Fine brit Lady: Eh well sire, you see... SURE! Moral: ANTICLIMACTIC ENDING SUCCESS!

Baby if you were homework, I would do you all the time

The power to type any pointless superpower at the wrong place... ...shit...

Boy- is that a mirror in your pants? Girl-? Boy-because i see my self in your pants Girl-oh this, this is a picture of crap!

Man: Your body is a tempe! Woman: Sorry, no services today.

If you were on a shelf at build a bear workshop ....... I would stuff you , except it wouldn't be with cotton

Man: There is a U and I in beautiful Woman: Ya, but there is only a U in ugly

On a scale from 1 to 10, can I get your number?

Did It Hurt when you fell from heaven? No, because I was already dead.

Want to get a pizza and fuck? What you don't like pizza?

He i would love to have sex with you She. I know but you have aids

Seriously tho mah bebeh... Did you ask for a Pepsi or mah cocka-colah?

Are you a speeding, aggressive driver? Because your running straight up my ass

You belong in heaven. So make sure you say hi to God for me.

It rubs the lotion onto it's skin

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!