You look just like my sister! That's funny,... CUZ IM A DUDE

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Hey did you fall from Heaven? Cos I think you are angel. If I'd fallen from anywhere that high I'd be in hospital with serious injuries or dead. Do the logic.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

My friend and I flipped a coin to see who will ask you out and I won.

thumb_up thumb_down -52

How much does a whales weigh? How much? Just enough to make you look skinny.

thumb_up thumb_down -51

-So, what are you doing later? -Not you.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Hey girl, I am a rich guy with a huge estate and stuff, while you live under a cardboard box so... Your place or mine? Both, I to your place, and you to mine.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

- Have we met? - Honey, we're not meeting now.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Man: I wanna know what love iiiiiiis... And I want you to show meeeeeeeeee! *Woman slams man with baseball bat* Man: Urgh... ARGH MY FACE BLEEDING EVERYWHERE! WHYYYY! Woman: I love baseball! Moral: Stupid singing idiot, if that is not the worst pick up line ever, then some other is!

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Boy: You know, just because one is beautiful does not mean that she is intelligent. Girl: Really? Boy: Yeah. But I'd like to tell you that you're a very good exception. Girl: Do you really think so? Boy: Of course! You're already ugly, yet you're so incredibly stupid!

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Order Online Nightwear and short shop online in India

thumb_up thumb_down -132

Boy- is that a mirror in your pants? Girl-? Boy-because i see my self in your pants Girl-oh this, this is a picture of crap!

thumb_up thumb_down +49

Want to get a pizza and fuck? What you don't like pizza?

thumb_up thumb_down +49

You're like a drug to me. why because I'm so addicting?:) No, because you ruined my life.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Hey baby, can I cream in your chocolate?

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Intro music with slow motion running starts as I shut off the tv forever

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Guy: Happy Birthday Girl: Huh? Guy: You're gonna get raped

thumb_up thumb_down -105

M: Hey bitch i'll give you £50 to touch my penis. f: Simon thats an afterschool detention M: SCORE!

thumb_up thumb_down -155

Damn girl did you just come from the dump? Cause you smell like shit.

thumb_up thumb_down +50

-So...wanna come back to my place? -I Dont Know If two people can fit in a box on the street.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Man: There is a U and I in beautiful Woman: Ya, but there is only a U in ugly

thumb_up thumb_down -44

On a scale from 1 to 10, can I get your number?

thumb_up thumb_down -46

MAN: Did it hurt? WOMAN: Did what hurt? MAN: Did it hurt when you fell out of heaven? WOMAN: Did it hurt when you were dropped as a baby?

thumb_up thumb_down +107

4 out of 5 people enjoy being gangraped

thumb_up thumb_down -33

- if I could rearrange the alphabet I would put U and I together - If I could rearrange the alphabet I would put U next to Y, just why

thumb_up thumb_down -37

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!