Woman- is your penis erect? Male- no just FULL SIZED Woman- woah

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Did it hurt when you fell from heaven and banged every guy on the way down?

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Hey girl, is your father in prison? Because if I was your father, I would be in prison.

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I have one thing to say to all the woman who look at me as a sex object. Hey.

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- Have we met? - Honey, we're not meeting now.

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*At a concert* guy- hey if you were that drum set, i'd bang you on that stage all night

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-hey, come here a minute.

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Hi, since its our first "Set Time Date" , I want you know I haven't got any STD's

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Seriously tho mah bebeh... Did you ask for a Pepsi or mah cocka-colah?

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Guy: Do you wanna be the sun of my life? Girl: Ok sure Guy: Then go stand 13. billion miles away from me

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"Damn, if being sexy was a crime, you'd be guilty as charged!" "My parole officer would go nuts!"

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Why was the little boy crying? Because he dropped his hamster in the garbage disposal

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your boobs are bigger than my nose

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Man: Your body is a temple! Woman: Sorry, no services today.

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Hey lady, you're really, really cute! Let's go out in the woods, GET NAKED and have sex!

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A. If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together. B. Oh really? Well, if I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put N and O together. Oh wait -- they're already there. Huh.

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- Professor Dumbledore, where are we? - You're dead, stupid. Snape trolled you.

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boy - would you like to dance? girl - hell no! boy - I think you misunderstood me. I said you look fat in those pants. girl - That's why I said "Hell No!" girl - I'm trying to deny the fact that I look fat in my pants. boy - damnit! girl - Phew!

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I told my wife I met someone who looked just like her she asked Was she gorgeous I didn't know what to say.

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I lost my phone number, can I have yours?

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He: Hey bay wanna danc- She: Leave.

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-As I slipped my finger in her hole I could feel her getting wetter and wetter, When I pulled it out she was going down on me. I should probably start looking for a new boat...

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Damn gurl, are you a microwave? Cause for sure you are burning me hot.

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Did you fall from heaven? Cause you d*** sure look like a demon!

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!