Is that a mirror in your pocket? Use it next time you put your d**n make-up on.

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Guy: wow! Why are you naked and on top of me? Girl: What are you talking about! We are at a bar! Guy: Oh sorry I am a psychic and keep getting flashes of the near future...

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Hey baby, I wanna solve your equation with longggg devision! ;)

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-ILY -Aw. Spell it out it will make it more special. -I'm Leaving You

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Man: Did it hurt when you fell out of heaven? Woman: Did it hurt when they kicked-- *sound of gun clicking* Woman: Thanks!

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Put the lotion on the skin!

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Man: Hey you are so pretty I bet you are a hooker! Woman: Uh.. thanks but no.. Man: Damn... I was hoping to get laid tonight...

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man: may I impale you on my stake? woman: O.o (for goth girls)

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Man: HELP! HELP! MY PENIS IS GONE! SOMEONE HELP ME FIND IT! Woman: OMG I am a nurse, we must find it before its too late! Where did you last see it? Man: It... it was around inside my pants somewhere... It should not be too hard to find it... cuz its pretty big...

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Little guy: I also beat Mike Tyson with my fists! Woman: Meh, from what I heard you beat some nobody named Mr.Dream! Little guy: Damn you Nintendo! Moral: He sure was not a big mac... more like a little ma.. baaaah you wont get it anyways!....

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Sugar-free sugar cookies

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I'd take you to the zoo but you might be mistaken for an elephant

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- Did it hurt? - What? - When you were catapaulted from the firey bowels of Hell?

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I might not be the best looking guy here but im the only one talking to you

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If I could re-arrange the alphabet, I'd probably leave it as is, seems to be working OK just fine without my internvention. And imagine the work it'd create in terms of all the re-filing alone. Librarians would have apoplexy, and if I came out I was responsible..well, there'd be hell to pay. No, thank you, but no thank you, the alphabet can stay as it is, no matter how hot your body.

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Guy: Hey is your dad a jeweler? Girl: No, He died a year ago due to a heart condition.

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Guy: Happy Birthday Girl: Huh? Guy: You're gonna get raped

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If you were a booger, I'd pick you first.

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are you from tennessee? because your license plate said it.

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You smell just like my mom...

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- If i could rearange the alphabet i'd puit you and i together. - That's not necessary because N and O are already together.

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Do you have sunburn, or are you always this hot? It's sunburn.

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guy: wanna make some money? girl: Na, I do it for free, i'm offering free herpes

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Male: Did it hurt??? Female: What, when I fell from heaven? Male: No, the first time you did anal!!!

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!