- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

What's your favorite condiment? Mine's mayonaise.

You like my boobies ;) Girl: I said no you disgusting fat bastard! Moral: What fucking kind of MOTHERFUCKING MORAL are you expecting to find here?!?

MAN: Did it hurt? WOMAN: Did what hurt? MAN: Did it hurt when you fell out of heaven? WOMAN: Did it hurt when you were dropped as a baby?

4 out of 5 people enjoy being gangraped

Man: There is a U and I in beautiful Woman: Ya, but there is only a U in ugly

Let's not turn this rape... into a murder

men: Do you ride horses, because I'd let you ride me all night!

- Hello There Pretty Lady! - Hi... - Wow, your the fist girl I've met who has bigger boobs than I do! - Tw*t

Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

-Adam, am I the only girl in your life? -Who else is there?

Your face is like mace, every time i see if i get blinded

guy: hey baby come join the PEN15 club with mee ;) girl: whats that?? guy: come and i will show you...goes into the guys restroom with her....lets go to the restroom and never rest...except you can rest on my PEN15

How can you tell if an elephant has been in your fridge? Broken fridge.

Was your dad a thief? Because he's in jail

Are you the sun? Because you need to stay about 92,960,000 miles away from me.

A. If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together. B. Oh really? Well, if I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put N and O together. Oh wait -- they're already there. Huh.

- if I could rearrange the alphabet I would put U and I together - If I could rearrange the alphabet I would put U next to Y, just why

It that a tsunami in your panties or are you excited to see me.. :)

Moral: Hey, how you doing? ;) Woman: Moral? Are you that guy that signs all his posts on horsecrapz network and adds miscellaneous notes? Moral: Yep that's me ;) Woman: OMG LIKE EWWW! Id never do you! Moral: Uh, when did even make such a suggestion? Moral:Well I am married...

- Are you from Tennessee bec- - Yes

You're like a can of condensed milk. Short, thick, and sweet.

He: did it hurt? She: when i fell from heaven? He: no. when you fell from the whore tree and banged every guy on the way down. go put some clothes on.

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book