- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

what's a girl like you doing in a nice place like this?

HE: You must have some hot buns. SHE: Yeah? HE: Cause you got a real butterface to go with them.

You're like a can of condensed milk. Short, thick, and sweet.

He: did it hurt? She: when i fell from heaven? He: no. when you fell from the whore tree and banged every guy on the way down. go put some clothes on.

Boy: Are you Mc Donalds? Girl: Why because your loving it? Boy: No because ur fat and greasy!

Hello children! :D

-Did you just fart? Cause you blew me away.

Man: Hey! Are you into stuff like violence robbery rape cheating orgies machismo torture and pedophilia? ;) ;) Girl: WHAT? NO! Man: Ok me neither so you qualify to come home with me. Girl: Well... that honestly makes you better than most of the lot... why not... so yeah lets go!

I wish I was your math momework, because then I would be really hard and you'd be doing me on the desk.

Man - I know I don't look like much now, but I'm drinking milk. Woman - Not mine!

Man: Hey lady... you new here? I havent seen you around here before ;) Woman: Im your wife! >:/ Man: Which one of them? I have married so many sluts just to get sex with them... that I forget about...

Guy - Do you want to go outside and play rapee? Girl - No, Guy - That's the spirit

At a concert guy- hey if you were that drum set, i'd bang you on that stage all night

does this rag smell like Chloroform to you?

Man : Wanna go to my house tonight? Woman : I'm not sure if a rock can fit 2 people inside.

Ya know what would look good on you? ME!

While I am certain that the police consider you a person of interest, I assure you I do not.

Man: Honestly! I am just desperate, and besides you are damn hot! Woman: Lets go to your place ;) Moral: This works, the anti-part is that no one will believe me nor try it themselves... Incredible how the easiest way is the least used...

As a man I am afforded greater opportunity then my equally qualified female counterparts. I have made it a life goal use this opportunities for greater good.

You are the personification of beauty. ,..Wanna Shag?

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book