Hey baby, can I cream in your chocolate?

Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

does this rag smell like Chloroform to you?

As a man I am afforded greater opportunity then my equally qualified female counterparts. I have made it a life goal use this opportunities for greater good.

Hey girl, is your father in prison? Because if I was your father, I would be in prison.

men: Do you ride horses, because I'd let you ride me all night!

-So, what are you doing later? -Not you.

Fear not moral man is back, in a moment of weakness I let myself go... let us put it this way... some like me, some hate me, that is what happens when people such as I speak their opinion. And if someday the entire world wants to destroy Moral Man... Moral Man will unleash doomsday! Moral: I am back, like me, hate me, you can still ignore me... but until I get some sleep and can start working out again (icy weather is not for bicycling is it?) Then Moral Man stands... Ps: Hey, thanks there below, my most thumbed up comments had minus 5 and such, so I got kinda down since I thought the internet too needed someone that speaks his mind. More Morals: But then I remembered I do this to entertain myself, and that you downvoters can all go screw yourselves! MORAL MAAAAAAAAAN! MORAL MAAAAAAAAN! Action figures in store now!

A. If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together. B. Oh really? Well, if I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put N and O together. Oh wait -- they're already there. Huh.

You're gorgeous! Can you smell that? Oh god it's awful!

I like my women like I like my coffee I drink Tea

Man: Is your name sherly? Woman: No... Man: because id like to Fuc* you in the ass and call you sherly

He: How do you like your eggs in the morning? She: Unfertilised!

I have a knife, Maddie. Get in the van.

*At a concert* guy- hey if you were that drum set, i'd bang you on that stage all night

- Are you from Tennessee bec- - Yes

-So...wanna come back to my place? -I Dont Know If two people can fit in a box on the street.

hey girl, whats your sign? slippery when wet.

Girl: Hey classy older man, wanna get to know me better? Man: Sigh... sorry lady I am the man that played Gandalf in that... shitty lords of something movie... Girl: so what? Man: Sigh... you know.. Gandalf the white and Gandalf the gay...? Girl: Huh? Man: Ever seen the X-men? Girl: Yeah... Man: ONE WORD: FAGNETO! Girl: uh.. okay.. "leaves". Ian McKellen: Sigh... should have come out of the closet sooner...

-Adam, am I the only girl in your life? -Who else is there?

Your face is like mace, every time i see if i get blinded

-Did you just fart? Cause you blew me away.

Order Online Nightwear and short shop online in India

what's a girl like you doing in a nice place like this?

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!