Don't turn this rape into a murder.

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Did you fall from heaven because you landed on my wind shield some how

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Guy enters a bar: Guy: I have some really bad self-esteem and would really apreciate if someone would give me a chance and... Gorgeous woman: Hey, I would love to get to know you, and maybe take you home and... Guy: WHAT? THIS DOES NOT HAPPEN TO ME! I CANT HANDLE IT! HEEEEEEEEEEELP! (Runs out of bar screaming)

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Are you being followed because i've been see someone behind your back!

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Him: Did it hurt? Her: Did what hurt? Him: When you fell from the whore tree and banged everyone on the way down

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- Have we met? - Honey, we're not meeting now.

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Hi, since its our first "Set Time Date" , I want you know I haven't got any STD's

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Boy- Did it hurt when you fell- Girl- From heaven?!? AWWW <3 Boy- No the whore tree when you banged every guy on the way down.

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Boy- I'm heading back to my place. Want to come? Girl-Sorry you strike me as a person who cums all by himself.

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Dont people ever get tired of PRETENDING like they dont need others aproval? I NEED APPROVAL I NEED APPROVAL! Moral: I REALLY DO! YEEEEEEEEES BECAUSE...Uh...you matter more than me? Nah, nothing like that, only I matter more than you...

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Are you a Potato? Because I love Potatoes.

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Did It Hurt when you fell from heaven? No, because I was already dead.

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Guy: Hey is your dad a jeweler? Girl: No, He died a year ago due to a heart condition.

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I told my wife I met someone who looked just like her she asked Was she gorgeous I didn't know what to say.

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- If i could rearange the alphabet i'd puit you and i together. - That's not necessary because N and O are already together.

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-As I slipped my finger in her hole I could feel her getting wetter and wetter, When I pulled it out she was going down on me. I should probably start looking for a new boat...

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Hey girl, is your name Ethiopian food? Because your playing hard to get.

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- I put the STD in STUD, all I need is U - ...

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Is that a banana in your pants? Can I have yours?

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M: On a scale of one to America, how free are you tonight? F: North Korea

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guy: wanna make some money? girl: Na, I do it for free, i'm offering free herpes

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- Did it hurt? - What? - When you were catapaulted from the firey bowels of Hell?

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men: Do you ride horses, because I'd let you ride me all night!

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HELLO I AM BORAT! MISHIMUSH! I WOULD LIKE TO MAKE THE MOVIE OF MAKING THE RAPE OF THE AMERICAN WOMAN! WILL YOU HELP US? Woman: NO!!!!!! Oh... ok Mishimush! We make the other Movie then, BORAT THE CRUSHINGS OF AMERICA.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!