- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

You're so hot, you should wear a burkha over your face.

Man: (in indian accent) HELLO I AM VERY RICH INDIAN MAN, I HAVE COLLECTION OF EXPENSIVE CARS AND LIMOS, I TAKE LADY HOME AND MAKE SWEET LOVE TO HER, THEN GIVE HER LOTSA JEWELS AND MONEY! Woman: Cool ill come home with you. Man: Uh... can you lend me money for the bus?

Hey giiiiiiiiiiirl, I'm no Flinstone but I can make your bedrock.

Men. We must always hold the door open, Pull the chairs out and pay for our women whilst remembering to treat them as equals.

How does a ghost walk through walls? There's normally a door.

Man: Hello! I am SUPERMAN! And you are so hot you are my Kryptonite! Woman: then you better get lost before you die! Man: Uh well... yeah uh... walks away (in non super speed strangely) Moral: Think things trough sometimes...

- If i could rearange the alphabet i'd puit you and i together. - That's not necessary because N and O are already together.

Male: Did it hurt??? Female: What, when I fell from heaven? Male: No, the first time you did anal!!!

Girl, now I want you to be on top! Okay, what position? DOGGY STYLE! Moral: Sickman Fraud, with that name smart people should listen with one eye open, while geniuses keep their eyes and ears shut.

Hey girl, is your name Ethiopian food? Because your playing hard to get.

boy - would you like to dance? girl - hell no! boy - I think you misunderstood me. I said you look fat in those pants. girl - That's why I said "Hell No!" girl - I'm trying to deny the fact that I look fat in my pants. boy - damnit! girl - Phew!

"Damn, if being sexy was a crime, you'd be guilty as charged!" "My parole officer would go nuts!"

-"Hey babe, you gotta nice ass!" -"Yep, and it doesn't like a rude one staring at it."

I told my wife I met someone who looked just like her she asked Was she gorgeous I didn't know what to say.

- Does this napkin smell like chloroform to you? There is no response because she passed out from it and he leaves in order to void suspicion.

guy: do you like sea food? girl: hell yes, I got crabs, would you like some

HELLO I AM BORAT! MISHIMUSH! I WOULD LIKE TO MAKE THE MOVIE OF MAKING THE RAPE OF THE AMERICAN WOMAN! WILL YOU HELP US? Woman: NO!!!!!! Oh... ok Mishimush! We make the other Movie then, BORAT THE CRUSHINGS OF AMERICA.

Roses are red violets are blue i got a gun get in the van!

Him: Did it hurt? Her: What? Him: When you fell out of the whore tree and banged every guy on the way down?

- I'd do anything for you. - Die.

Why did the small girl run away? She saw her own coqu in the mirror.

guy: wanna make some money? girl: Na, I do it for free, i'm offering free herpes

Him: Did it hurt? Her: Did what hurt? Him: When you fell from the whore tree and banged everyone on the way down

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book