Girl:Want to go out this Friday? Boy: No I like to stay inside. Girl: No I mean are you free this Friday? Boy:No Im expencive!

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Why was the little boy crying? Because he dropped his hamster in the garbage disposal

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M: On a scale of one to America, how free are you tonight? F: North Korea

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-My love for you is like diarrhea, I cant hold it in...

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roses are red, violets are blue, my toe hurts.

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Hi, since its our first "Set Time Date" , I want you know I haven't got any STD's

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B: Can I have your number ? G: Sure.. 666

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Boy: You know, just because one is beautiful does not mean that she is intelligent. Girl: Really? Boy: Yeah. But I'd like to tell you that you're a very good exception. Girl: Do you really think so? Boy: Of course! You're already ugly, yet you're so incredibly stupid!

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Muslim guy: "Hey can I get your number?" Chick:"Nine eleven"

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Girl, now I want you to be on top! Okay, what position? DOGGY STYLE! Moral: Sickman Fraud, with that name smart people should listen with one eye open, while geniuses keep their eyes and ears shut.

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Hey girl, ever tried a double dildo with a man before? ;)

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Husband: I will always get breakfast and newspapers in bed AT 5:30 baby, but not wake me when you wake up at 4:30

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"Damn, if being sexy was a crime, you'd be guilty as charged!" "My parole officer would go nuts!"

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Guy: Hey is your dad a jeweler? Girl: No, He died a year ago due to a heart condition.

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-"Hey babe, you gotta nice ass!" -"Yep, and it doesn't like a rude one staring at it."

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Man: Oh crap I don't have a condom Woman: Don't worry I have one

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How does a ghost walk through walls? There's normally a door.

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Why did the small girl run away? She saw her own coqu in the mirror.

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You're so hot, you should wear a burkha over your face.

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Are you from tennessee? Cause you've got fine written all over you.

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adam burdass

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Do you work at Subway, because you're giving me a footlong. No actually, I once had a job at a local Quizno's Sub Shop. However a tragic fire killed several employees and customers at this very location. I survived, but lost have permanent Third-Degree burns across my body. My life is ruined, prick.

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Hey lady, you're really, really cute! Let's go out in the woods, GET NAKED and have sex!

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Are you from hogwarts, because I really want to put my basilisk into your chamber of secrets

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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