*At a concert* guy- hey if you were that drum set, i'd bang you on that stage all night

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men: Do you ride horses, because I'd let you ride me all night!

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Man: I bet you havent seen a really big dick before ;) ;) Woman: No... but I have seen yours... The man proceeds to stare at the floor and leaves in shame...

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So, you're a girl, huh?

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Intro music with slow motion running starts as I shut off the tv forever

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Do you why I know we're going to have sex tonight?

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Guy texting random girl: *u must b wearing space pants cuz ur a*s is out of this world *no im wearing baseball pants cuz my a*s is out of ur leage (this girl deserves an award)

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M. Excuse me Miss. You have seamen on the back of your jacket. W. Are you sure? It could just be Yoghurt. M. Most Definitely. I don't Cum Yoghurt.

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Want to get a pizza and fuck? What you don't like pizza?

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You're like a can of condensed milk. Short, thick, and sweet.

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Are you the sun? Because you need to stay about 92,960,000 miles away from me.

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guy: do you like sea food? girl: hell yes, I got crabs, would you like some

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Man: Hey! Are you into stuff like violence robbery rape cheating orgies machismo torture and pedophilia? ;) ;) Girl: WHAT? NO! Man: Ok me neither so you qualify to come home with me. Girl: Well... that honestly makes you better than most of the lot... why not... so yeah lets go!

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Hey, I got some of the worst ratings on Horsehead network! Really? Moral: You bet!

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I have never dated a horse-faced woman before :)

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You're gorgeous! Can you smell that? Oh god it's awful!

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You like my boobies ;) Girl: I said no you disgusting fat bastard! Moral: What fucking kind of MOTHERFUCKING MORAL are you expecting to find here?!?

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Why did the small girl run away? She saw her own coqu in the mirror.

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I'm desperate, you'll do.

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Man: Wanna come home watch my REALLY big stamp collection? ;) ;) Girl: Sure ;) ;) At home: Man: Why are you taking your clothes off? Girl: Uh... nevermind... Moments later: Man: And this one is a rare misprint from 1980, and this one is actually quite common but.., Girl: Sigh... :(

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Man: Is your name sherly? Woman: No... Man: because id like to Fuc* you in the ass and call you sherly

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HE: You must have some hot buns. SHE: Yeah? HE: Cause you got a real butterface to go with them.

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Man: GET IN THE VAN! Woman: NO! Man: Well... How about the Limo? Its got beverages and caviar and... Woman: OOH :D Moral: Always go for the limo first,

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Boy: You know, just because one is beautiful does not mean that she is intelligent. Girl: Really? Boy: Yeah. But I'd like to tell you that you're a very good exception. Girl: Do you really think so? Boy: Of course! You're already ugly, yet you're so incredibly stupid!

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!