Boy- I'm heading back to my place. Want to come? Girl-Sorry you strike me as a person who cums all by himself.

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Guy: Hey is your dad a jeweler? Girl: No, He died a year ago due to a heart condition.

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"Damn, if being sexy was a crime, you'd be guilty as charged!" "My parole officer would go nuts!"

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A blond, a brunette and a black haired girl are all stuck on an island....stupid women.

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What's your sign? Slippery when wet.

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Why did the small girl run away? She saw her own coqu in the mirror.

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You allergic to semen?

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Are you from tennessee? Because your inbred and retarted.

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Put the lotion on the skin!

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- Does this napkin smell like chloroform to you? There is no response because she passed out from it and he leaves in order to void suspicion.

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Girl, if your body was for sale... ...ID BUY THAT FOR A DOLLAR! Moral: Thank you Robocop.

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-hey girl, you must be a pirate cause you got a lot of booty

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Girl:Want to go out this Friday? Boy: No I like to stay inside. Girl: No I mean are you free this Friday? Boy:No Im expencive!

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- Did it hurt? - What? - When you were catapaulted from the firey bowels of Hell?

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Muslim guy: "Hey can I get your number?" Chick:"Nine eleven"

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Guy: Happy Birthday Girl: Huh? Guy: You're gonna get raped

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Man: Hey! Are you into stuff like violence robbery rape cheating orgies machismo torture and pedophilia? ;) ;) Girl: WHAT? NO! Man: Ok me neither so you qualify to come home with me. Girl: Well... that honestly makes you better than most of the lot... why not... so yeah lets go!

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Classic story time: Shit that happens out there. Girl: Omg that guy called you a douche! Go punch him! Or else my respect for you is gone. Man: Hey, you called me a douche right? Well... FALCOWN PAWNCH! Girl: Omg you are so violent, my respect for you is gone. Moral: Really, I am speechless... Its a lose/lose situation.

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-How did your date go last night? -It was going alright but then I started crying uncontrollably. -Nervous habit? -Pepper spray.

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Moral: Hey, how you doing? ;) Woman: Moral? Are you that guy that signs all his posts on horsecrapz network and adds miscellaneous notes? Moral: Yep that's me ;) Woman: OMG LIKE EWWW! Id never do you! Moral: Uh, when did even make such a suggestion? Moral:Well I am married...

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Did it hurt when you fell from the whore tree and banged every single guy on your way down?

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Man: Comon babe a little BJ wont hurt anyone get down..... Woman: sorry im alergic to peanuts

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Are you a speeding, aggressive driver? Because your running straight up my ass

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- Yo baby can I have your number? - Sure! My number is one *sticks up middle finger*

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!