Hey girl, is your name Ethiopian food? Because your playing hard to get.

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Hey girl, I am a rich guy with a huge estate and stuff, while you live under a cardboard box so... Your place or mine? Both, I to your place, and you to mine.

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Sigh, reminds me I am banging a girl named Tina, and one named Line right? Plus my wife whose name I wont reveal because she matters (Line, Tina, you do not!) Anyway, when people ask me "what the hell was that noise Nero (No idea what Neronism is, fuck him for stealing my name) I tell them "meh I was just screwing Line and Tina" People always go like... Man... YOU DONT HAVE TO LIE TO ME SON! YOU GOT STREET CRED HERE MODAFOCA! Tina and Line? You cant come up with better names SON? EH? If you wanna lie to me again SON, Then you get some original names SON! And I go like... So, can your sister sit down now? And he goes all like SHEET, was that you? Nice score man! And then I went "thats your sister you know that right?" Anyway, you want me now? INSTA ANTI PICKUPLINE... BECAUSE WHO NEEDS PICKUPLINES AT ALL! I AM JUST BEING MEEEEEEEEEEE! AND YOU MIGHT HATE ME!!!!!!! BUT YOU WOMEN STILL END UP TALKING ABOUT HOW YOU HATE THAT GUY YOU FUCKED LAST NIGHT! AND YOUR GIRLFRIENDS! Man... I need another Smoke... SMOKE WINS FAILTALITY. Ps: Yo Harris, stop congratzing me for banging your sister, she is not a nice catch for youz! She is your sistah DUDE! STOP GIVING ME THE THUMBS UPS EVERYTIME SHE COMPLAINS HER ASS IS STILL SORE... I mean does he get it? Or does youz congrats me because you dont understand that Rebecca your "innocent" sister is really into anal something I usually just reserve for the... actually good girls...

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Roses are red violets are blue i got a gun get in the van!

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-You wanna get laid tonight? -You wanna never have sex again?

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Muslim guy: "Hey can I get your number?" Chick:"Nine eleven"

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Now this one is for the ladies: Girl: Hey there Alexa! Long time no see! Woman: Indeed dear, so... do you still do YOGA!? Girl: Nah I stopped after the YOGA FIRE! lessons and the YOGA TELEPORT! Lessons where too expensive... Woman: too bad! Can you still bend your legs behind your back though? ;) It looked so sexy... Girl: Oh well, as long as you can still do you YOGA STRETCH tongue you can come home with me and teach me a thing or two since I am just 19 and you are a 35 year old couger... if you know what I mean ;) Woman: Sure! I can teach you a lot of lusty immoral things ;). Conclusion: Girl: Not there... its hurts. Woman: Just relax girl, and it will work... Girl: YES OH YES!!! Moral: To show that my stories also support the ladies ;) Hey... its called the ANTIPICKUPLINE after all right?

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Man: Hey you are so pretty I bet you are a hooker! Woman: Uh.. thanks but no.. Man: Damn... I was hoping to get laid tonight...

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Man: Your body is a tempe! Woman: Sorry, no services today.

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Guy: If I could rearange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together Girl: If I could rearange the alphabet, I'd put F and U together

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Boy-That's a nice outfit. Girl-Thanks!!! Boy- It would look even better scrunched up at the end of my bed.

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Does anyone have a toothpick? I need to pick the crabs out of the cracks of my teeth.

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F: I AM SO DRUNK AND HORNY I COULD FUCK ANYONE M: Hey, wanna fuck? F: I SAID ANYONE.. Not anything... Heck I got standards! Moral: Heck she has standards! Her dog is someone!

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hey girl, whats your sign? slippery when wet.

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Man: Hey! Are you into stuff like violence robbery rape cheating orgies machismo torture and pedophilia? ;) ;) Girl: WHAT? NO! Man: Ok me neither so you qualify to come home with me. Girl: Well... that honestly makes you better than most of the lot... why not... so yeah lets go!

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Don't turn this rape into a murder.

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Hey gorgeous what are you drinking? Cyanide.

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"I'd like to get you out of those clothes. Really, they aren't very flattering. That color looks awful on you and those pants make you look fat."

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Boy- Did it hurt when you fell- Girl- From heaven?!? AWWW <3 Boy- No the whore tree when you banged every guy on the way down.

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Are you from hogwarts, because I really want to put my basilisk into your chamber of secrets

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No more morals? I read his crap for hours! Moral: ;( Bye man.

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- Yo baby can I have your number? - Sure! My number is one *sticks up middle finger*

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Eat me, I'm organic!

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Husband: I will always get breakfast and newspapers in bed AT 5:30 baby, but not wake me when you wake up at 4:30

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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