- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Girl walks into restaurant - Hi, are you sap666 from the dating site? - I'm going to kill your family! Since then, socially awkward penguin never dated anymore....

Man: Honestly! I am just desperate, and besides you are damn hot! Woman: Lets go to your place ;) Moral: This works, the anti-part is that no one will believe me nor try it themselves... Incredible how the easiest way is the least used...

Whatever I'll just date myself.

Man: Wanna come home watch my REALLY big stamp collection? ;) ;) Girl: Sure ;) ;) At home: Man: Why are you taking your clothes off? Girl: Uh... nevermind... Moments later: Man: And this one is a rare misprint from 1980, and this one is actually quite common but.., Girl: Sigh... :(

what's a girl like you doing in a nice place like this?

Hey girl, is your name Ethiopian food? Because your playing hard to get.

Roses are red Violets are blue I have a gun Get in the van

Are u in the army cause u make my private stand at attention.

- if I could rearrange the alphabet I would put U and I together - If I could rearrange the alphabet I would put U next to Y, just why

-"Hey babe, you gotta nice ass!" -"Yep, and it doesn't like a rude one staring at it."

You like my boobies ;) Girl: I said no you disgusting fat bastard! Moral: What fucking kind of MOTHERFUCKING MORAL are you expecting to find here?!?

Why did the small girl run away? She saw her own coqu in the mirror.

Did it hurt when you fell from the whore tree and banged every single guy on your way down?

I wish I was your math momework, because then I would be really hard and you'd be doing me on the desk.

Men. We must always hold the door open, Pull the chairs out and pay for our women whilst remembering to treat them as equals.

"Are you my Appendix? Because I have a funny feeling in my stomach that makes me feel like I should take you out." "I charge $80 with anesthesia, $40 without."

Guy: Hey :) Guy: Hey to you too :) Don't jump to conclusions people. They're gay.

I have one thing to say to all the woman who look at me as a sex object. Hey.

Guy - Do you want to go outside and play rapee? Girl - No, Guy - That's the spirit

there is a 50% chance that we make s** tonight from my side i agree

Man: Hey you look good enough to do Woman: Oh really because so does my 8 foot boyfriend. Man: ... Woman: Do you want me to pick him up from the gym?

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book

*Girl walks into restaurant* - Hi, are you sap666 from the dating site? - I'm going to kill your family! Since then, socially awkward penguin never dated anymore....