Your the penisbutter to my vagmite;)

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Guy: You look like a suitable mate and I'd thoroughly enjoy engaging in rough, sweaty sex with you and your lady parts.

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Girl, if your body was for sale... ...ID BUY THAT FOR A DOLLAR! Moral: Thank you Robocop.

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Did It Hurt when you fell from heaven? No, because I was already dead.

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-"Hey babe, you gotta nice ass!" -"Yep, and it doesn't like a rude one staring at it."

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Man: Your tag's showing. It says "Made in Heaven". Woman: *Proceeds to leak period blood into a puddle at the man's feet and walks away in silence*

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"Are you my Appendix? Because I have a funny feeling in my stomach that makes me feel like I should take you out." "I charge $80 with anesthesia, $40 without."

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Man: Is your name sherly? Woman: No... Man: because id like to Fuc* you in the ass and call you sherly

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Are you from hogwarts, because I really want to put my basilisk into your chamber of secrets

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boy - would you like to dance? girl - hell no! boy - I think you misunderstood me. I said you look fat in those pants. girl - That's why I said "Hell No!" girl - I'm trying to deny the fact that I look fat in my pants. boy - damnit! girl - Phew!

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Guy: Do you wanna be the sun of my life? Girl: Ok sure Guy: Then go stand 13. billion miles away from me

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-hey girl, you must be a pirate cause you got a lot of booty

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(in a bar) Guy: Know how to play any instruments? Girl: No...but I wanna learn. Can you teach me? Guy:Sure..ever heard of the skin flute? Girl: (unaware) No. Can you teach me to play it? Guy: Sure, I can. :) (The girl leaves with the guy as he looks over his shoulder and winks with the thought of getting laid)

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"Damn, if being sexy was a crime, you'd be guilty as charged!" "My parole officer would go nuts!"

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Moral: Hey, how you doing? ;) Woman: Moral? Are you that guy that signs all his posts on horsecrapz network and adds miscellaneous notes? Moral: Yep that's me ;) Woman: OMG LIKE EWWW! Id never do you! Moral: Uh, when did even make such a suggestion? Moral:Well I am married...

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Man: Oh crap I don't have a condom Woman: Don't worry I have one

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Girl, now I want you to be on top! Okay, what position? DOGGY STYLE! Moral: Sickman Fraud, with that name smart people should listen with one eye open, while geniuses keep their eyes and ears shut.

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here's 20p, phone your Mum... she'll be the last person you ever speak to so be nice

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A. If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together. B. Oh really? Well, if I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put N and O together. Oh wait -- they're already there. Huh.

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Man enters bar and does a lot of magic tricks, all the prettiest women are extremely impressed: Girls: WOW! We would do anything to see more of that! Guy: Uh... damn I forgot what to do after this... Moral: Screw the game man, its a stupid book, just be your moronic self and someone will like you for the lovely disgusting moron that you are... by the way you lost the game :D

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It that a tsunami in your panties or are you excited to see me.. :)

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How much does a whales weigh? How much? Just enough to make you look skinny.

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- Did it hurt, when you fell from heaven? - Nah, angels like me, have wings.

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"I'd like to get you out of those clothes. Really, they aren't very flattering. That color looks awful on you and those pants make you look fat."

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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