- Anti-Pickup Line

How much does a whales weigh? How much? Just enough to make you look skinny.

Moral man enters a bar and spots a sad girl. MMan: Why so sad? Lady: My father died... MMan: And you want him to see you sad, from wherever he may be? Lady: No but how am I supposed to be happy about it? MMan: Remember the happy days you spent, because they are many more than the days you will see his gravestone, and if nothing else, we can always keep those alive within our heart happily, as long as we are happy in OUR heart... Moral: I would have called this meaningless bull before, but this is a true story, and those words are the reason I just celebrated my two year anniversary with my girlfriend, the most amazing girl ever... which just sang out of joy btw... I may be different... but if a man can keep those he loves happy, he is indeed a true man... Ok now she wants to know what I am typing, so I say nothing and put this self brag away, because I share with you, but heck, what am I? Somekind of romantic? Answer: Meh, I am the ever lovable jerk you may not like, but cant stop loving once you know me either... The anti-part? Dunno, dont care :D

-Did you just fart? Cause you blew me away.

Him: Did it hurt? Her: What? Him: When you fell out of the whore tree and banged every guy on the way down?

Man: Your tag's showing. It says "Made in Heaven". Woman: Proceeds to leak period blood into a puddle at the man's feet and walks away in silence

Hey I used to be a man, but I'm pretty horny.

Boy: Wanna go see a movie. Girl: Which movie. Boy: Texas Chainsaw Massicure. Girl: What is it about. Boy: Unicorns and Rainbows. Girl: Let's go!

Sorry, I don't wanna date a guy who's best pickup line is cocaine.

- If i could rearange the alphabet i'd puit you and i together. - That's not necessary because N and O are already together.

Are you from hogwarts, because I really want to put my basilisk into your chamber of secrets

Do you why I know we're going to have sex tonight?

Classic story time: Shit that happens out there. Girl: Omg that guy called you a douche! Go punch him! Or else my respect for you is gone. Man: Hey, you called me a douche right? Well... FALCOWN PAWNCH! Girl: Omg you are so violent, my respect for you is gone. Moral: Really, I am speechless... Its a lose/lose situation.

He: How do you like your eggs in the morning? She: Unfertilised!

-Hey baby, are you from Tennessee? Because you're like a solid 7.

Boy: You know, just because one is beautiful does not mean that she is intelligent. Girl: Really? Boy: Yeah. But I'd like to tell you that you're a very good exception. Girl: Do you really think so? Boy: Of course! You're already ugly, yet you're so incredibly stupid!

Don't turn this rape into a murder.

Sorry to take up space, but this is simply my reply to the vile threats to that person whose line starts with "what did you say little bitch", know that he has no idea what he is talking about, and is possibly a simple mental case. Seriously, who the hell are you? And even so, who the hell do you think you are? Yeah with your terrible lack of discipline there is no way in hell you are or would become a soldier. You know very well that the navy would never waste its resources on helping your selfish and childish acts of revenge (or whatever you seek) Death threats will get you nowhere, and you can fully threaten me, but know that I live in Norway, and you can trace me and send your whole unit (if you had one) but by then you would solely be responsible for acts of war and be properly executed for international treason. Know your place civilian, we fight to protect you, do not shame us with your childish vendetta. Drill Sergeant Axel "Strength" Godøy. Aka "Moral Man" Ps: Threaten anyone again, and I will fill a full report and assure that your IP is banned from this network, you are shaming your people, your country and all that fight to defend world peace, try me out and see, give me that luxury.

Male: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put U and I together Female: I don't need to rearrange the alphabet, N and O are already together!

-"Hey babe, you gotta nice ass!" -"Yep, and it doesn't like a rude one staring at it."

roses are red violets are blue My dog gives me a bigger orgasm then you

Hey gorgeous what are you drinking? Cyanide.

Why did the small girl run away? She saw her own coqu in the mirror.

Male: Did it hurt??? Female: What, when I fell from heaven? Male: No, the first time you did anal!!!

I might not be the best looking guy here but im the only one talking to you

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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