-You wanna get laid tonight? -You wanna never have sex again?

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Husband: I will always get breakfast and newspapers in bed AT 5:30 baby, but not wake me when you wake up at 4:30

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Are you from tennessee? Because your inbred and retarted.

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Man: Hey yo sexy, wanna do it in the toilet so I can brag about banging the prom queen? The toilets are dirty but I got aids anyways and... Fine brit Lady: Eh well sire, you see... SURE! Moral: ANTICLIMACTIC ENDING SUCCESS!

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Are you from hogwarts, because I really want to put my basilisk into your chamber of secrets

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Man: Hey! Are you into stuff like violence robbery rape cheating orgies machismo torture and pedophilia? ;) ;) Girl: WHAT? NO! Man: Ok me neither so you qualify to come home with me. Girl: Well... that honestly makes you better than most of the lot... why not... so yeah lets go!

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you know what rhymes with hug me LET'S HAVE SEX

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Male: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put U and I together Female: I don't need to rearrange the alphabet, N and O are already together!

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my girlfriend is really insecure about her weight so much so that I'm thinking about detaching the reverse alarm

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Wife: I have a confession to tell you my wife said to me one day... Before we got together I was raped by a masked man and I really liked it. Me: I know.

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F: I AM SO DRUNK AND HORNY I COULD FUCK ANYONE M: Hey, wanna fuck? F: I SAID ANYONE.. Not anything... Heck I got standards! Moral: Heck she has standards! Her dog is someone!

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Hey girl, I am a rich guy with a huge estate and stuff, while you live under a cardboard box so... Your place or mine? Both, I to your place, and you to mine.

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guy: do you like sea food? girl: hell yes, I got crabs, would you like some

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He: How do you like your eggs in the morning? She: Unfertilised!

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You are the personification of beauty. ,..Wanna Shag?

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-How did your date go last night? -It was going alright but then I started crying uncontrollably. -Nervous habit? -Pepper spray.

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Man: I bet you havent seen a really big dick before ;) ;) Woman: No... but I have seen yours... The man proceeds to stare at the floor and leaves in shame...

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Your the penisbutter to my vagmite;)

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-Hey baby, are you from Tennessee? Because you're like a solid 7.

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Boy- I'm heading back to my place. Want to come? Girl-Sorry you strike me as a person who cums all by himself.

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-Did you just fart? Cause you blew me away.

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- Are you from Tennessee bec- - Yes

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Guy: Hey :) Guy: Hey to you too :) Don't jump to conclusions people. They're gay.

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your boobs are bigger than my nose

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!