- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Did it hurt when you fell from heaven and banged every guy on the way down?

He- You've got something on your ass. She- What? He- Oh never mind, it's just a period stain.

Hey lady, you're really, really cute! Let's go out in the woods, GET NAKED and have sex!

Are you from hogwarts, because I really want to put my basilisk into your chamber of secrets

guy: do you like sea food? girl: hell yes, I got crabs, would you like some

Boy- Did it hurt when you fell- Girl- From heaven?!? AWWW <3 Boy- No the whore tree when you banged every guy on the way down.

Male: I'd give her one Female: I wouldn't have sex with you if you were the last person on earth Male: I was rating you out of 10 you ugly bitch

Aww seriously dude? That would be awesome, gotta warn you though, this car repair dude, is really ripping my shirt off but you know, ill send you the bill. 666 (my phone is on the charger, get me a new one and ill write a fucking essay about my sisters ass and post it here I really need a phone)

Are you from tennessee? Because your inbred and retarted.

Guy: Hey :) Guy: Hey to you too :) Don't jump to conclusions people. They're gay.

Sorry, I don't wanna date a guy who's best pickup line is cocaine.

Your the penisbutter to my vagmite;)

Man: Hey! Are you into stuff like violence robbery rape cheating orgies machismo torture and pedophilia? ;) ;) Girl: WHAT? NO! Man: Ok me neither so you qualify to come home with me. Girl: Well... that honestly makes you better than most of the lot... why not... so yeah lets go!

Are you a speeding, aggressive driver? Because your running straight up my ass

you know what rhymes with hug me LET'S HAVE SEX

I have a knife, Maddie. Get in the van.

Wife: I have a confession to tell you my wife said to me one day... Before we got together I was raped by a masked man and I really liked it. Me: I know.

Man: Your tag's showing. It says "Made in Heaven". Woman: Proceeds to leak period blood into a puddle at the man's feet and walks away in silence

- Are you from Tennessee bec- - Yes

You look just like my sister! That's funny,... CUZ IM A DUDE

-My love for you is like diarrhea, I cant hold it in...

Man and woman in bed, as the man looks troubled: Woman: Hey you are not in the mood? Whats wrong? Man looking down his pants: SNAKE! ANSWER ME! SNAKE WHATS WRONG? SNAAAAAAAAAAAAAKEEEEEEEEEEE! Woman: We arent gonna have sex huh? Man looks down pants again: Nuh huh... game over girl... game over...

Boy: Wanna go see a movie. Girl: Which movie. Boy: Texas Chainsaw Massicure. Girl: What is it about. Boy: Unicorns and Rainbows. Girl: Let's go!

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book