Him: Nice legs. What time do they open? Her: Members only, I'm afraid,

my girlfriend is really insecure about her weight so much so that I'm thinking about detaching the reverse alarm

While I am certain that the police consider you a person of interest, I assure you I do not.

B: Hey C do you wanna go out with me? C: Sorry B I only go out with guy's who come after me

Roses are red Violets are gold Get on your knees And do what your told

How you doin? go away- I have a gun

Ps: I was signing books today, and some douche asked me: Are you that Neronism dude on Horsehead? YOu suck! Anyway, Fuck Neronism. Nero (the other one and his "peeps" are fuckups. (Below: Well actually Tina said if my wife can join, just as my wife said yes... ...And you would think that screwing somebody else after asking your wife is immoral... DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH I LOVE MY WIFE BECAUSE OF WHO SHE IS? Its called trust people *cape flowing in the air moon in background* Trust! NeroMetal I play Street Fighter V, And am an author, and I guess I get laid a lot... AND I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT NERONISM OR THAT OTHER ASSHOLE IS! I just called myself asshole...

At a bar (for originality`s sake :P) Man: Hello would you want to come home with me and uckucukucekcuah cough... AAAAAARRrghhhhhhhhhhhhhh (dies of heart attack) Woman: Wow that was an original line, ok ill come home with you... err... hello... uh... is everything okay? Moral: Despite this "joke" death is rarely a good pickup line.

If you were a booger i'd pick you first. -that, is fucking disgusting.

are you a brush because you just swept me off my feet

there is a 50% chance that we make s** tonight from my side i agree

you look like my mother

-How much do you love me? -Count the stars in the sky and you'll know. -But it's the morning. -Exactly.

Batman bravely leaps in front of the Robin: Bats: WATCH OUT FOR THAT GAY-RAY! *Bats suddenly grabs Robin and starts making out with him* Bats: I am sorry, I cannot stop it... I... Robin: I am underage so maybe it was a pedo-ray or something... Joker: What gay ray? What pedo ray? It was suppose to disintegrate you! But whatever, I win. Moral: It was a looong trip back home.

I put the STD in STuD all i need is U!

I wish I was your math momework, because then I would be really hard and you'd be doing me on the desk.

Are you doing push-ups with your knees down? Cuz im not sure if this is working out.

Boy: does your face hurt Girl: No. Why Boy Because it sure is hurting me

Why did the chicken cross the road? -To get to the other side.

Black dude at bar: HERE COMES THE COLE-TRAIN BABY! WANNA RIDE! Girl: So I assume your name is Cole right? Dude: Uh... actually no but... WAIT! where are you going!

There must be an angel missing from Heaven, because I've got it tied up in my basement. (It keeps saying something about a fancy dress party, but I'm not falling for that one again; that's how Batman escaped.)

Why are you crying? I have to walk out these woods alone!

-Hi miss are you a catchup? -hey is this some corny pick-up line?,,,okay fine. why? -because I want to dip my hotdog to you

- If i could rearange the alphabet i'd puit you and i together. - That's not necessary because N and O are already together.

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!