GEDDINTHEFRIGGENCAR

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"Are you my Appendix? Because I have a funny feeling in my stomach that makes me feel like I should take you out." "I charge $80 with anesthesia, $40 without."

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Did you fall from heaven because you landed on my wind shield some how

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Did it hurt when you fell from the whore tree and banged every single guy on your way down?

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here's 20p, phone your Mum... she'll be the last person you ever speak to so be nice

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sHe; Theirs a "L" in love. he; and theirs a L in Lick my penis.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have a gun Get in the van

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Are you an angel? 'Cause you're the only ten I see.

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How much do you love me? Look at the stars and count them Bu-but it's afternoon Exactly

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-Hey baby, are you from Tennessee? Because you're like a solid 7.

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-You wanna get laid tonight? -You wanna never have sex again?

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Man: I would kill anyone at anytime for a kiss from you. Woman: Kill yourself now.

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In regard to the post below. I'm not even joking, one of my mates actually said that to a girl.

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-Hi miss are you a ketchup? -hey is this some corny pick-up line?,,,okay fine. why? -because I want to dip my hot dog to you

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On a scale from 1 to 10, can I get your number?

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the word of the day is legs lets go to your house and spread the word

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Male: Man, if we were married... Female: What? We'd make beautiful children? Male: No, I'd leave your sorry, and ungrateful ass and make you stay with the kid.

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I AM LOVE! I AM LOVE! Moral: Seriously, I have never been QUUUUUITE this happy, shouting I am love is probably not the best move, thanks for your thumbs ups, thumbs downs, and while my work is done here, that does not mean Ill leave, I need to keep my reputation as the fourth, smoothest, aka pointless invention in the world, and unless you want to count that girl Justina Bitcherina, that means that I am the smoothest man alive, THANK YOU THANK YOU! And feel free to vote this down if you cant handle being thanked by the smoothest most awesome man alive. Hey, I get it, we cant all be me ;)

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Hello im a thief and I'm here to steal your purse

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Me. Would you like me to get you a ring for valentines day? Girlfriend: Nothing would make me happier! So I got her nothing...

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- Hey, I have 40 minutes to live and need to feel the touch of a woman to live. -I'm a dude.

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At Barlevania: Man: Yo lady... mind if I hang around? Woman: Uh... wait... there is a weird song outside... Man: Yeah but you will you... yeah... its getting louder! *nana nanananana nana* Man: What the hell is that? Woman: No idea, its getting louder! *NANA NANANANANANA KATAMARI DAMACY NANA NANANANANANANA KATAMERUUUUU! DAMACY DAMACY*¨¨ *Both the man and the woman gets rolled up in a spirit ball by the prince, in no time the bar gets rolled up as well* Dun dun dun dun dun dun Du du dun dun STAAAAAARLIGHT STAAAAAAAARLIGHT STAAAAAAAARLIGHT STAAAAAAAAAAAR LIGHT! King of all cosmos: Eh.. buenos dias! That means good day in Spanish the king thinks... the king likes languages... Eh? What is this insignificant thing you rolled up? Earth? The king does not like it... it feels too earthy! To humanny and stuff... *The king of all cosmos throws the earth away towards outer space* "ROLLED UP EARTH HAS BECOME PLANET EARTH!" Moral: Katamari Damacy taught us all that it does not have to make sense to be funny, but its not a good idea to for anyone to hit on anything while the planet is being rolled up...

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Intro music with slow motion running starts as I shut off the tv forever

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Boy:do you know to spell "Idiot" with just one word? Girl:how? Boy:U

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!