- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Hey lady, you're really, really cute! Let's go out in the woods, GET NAKED and have sex!

hey girl, whats your sign? slippery when wet.

Are you a speeding, aggressive driver? Because your running straight up my ass

-Hey baby, are you from Tennessee? Because you're like a solid 7.

Man: I am willing to give my life for you. Woman: How about you fucking get one instead and rather seek me out then? Moral: M-M-M-Morale breaker!

-How did your date go last night? -It was going alright but then I started crying uncontrollably. -Nervous habit? -Pepper spray.

Hey giiiiiiiiiiirl, I'm no Flinstone but I can make your bedrock.

You look just like my sister! That's funny,... CUZ IM A DUDE

Male: Did it hurt??? Female: What, when I fell from heaven? Male: No, the first time you did anal!!!

are u an angle because i have a boner oh what fail

Did you gain weight? Because I think your gravitational pull towards me just increased.

Roses are red Violets are blue I have a gun Get in the van

- I put the STD in STUD, all I need is U - ...

you know what rhymes with hug me LET'S HAVE SEX

Wife: I have a confession to tell you my wife said to me one day... Before we got together I was raped by a masked man and I really liked it. Me: I know.

Sorry, I don't wanna date a guy who's best pickup line is cocaine.

Man: Hey you are so pretty I bet you are a hooker! Woman: Uh.. thanks but no.. Man: Damn... I was hoping to get laid tonight...

Guy - Did it hurt? Girl - Giving birth to my triplets? Yes, it was like shitting a walrus.

It that a tsunami in your panties or are you excited to see me.. :)

Man: Your tag's showing. It says "Made in Heaven". Woman: Proceeds to leak period blood into a puddle at the man's feet and walks away in silence

I have one thing to say to all the woman who look at me as a sex object. Hey.

Man: I would kill anyone at anytime for a kiss from you. Woman: Kill yourself now.

Is that a mirror in your pants? We should have sex immediately.

Man: Hey, you dont look that fucking ugly, wanna go home with me? mirror: shatters Moral: If your ugliness ever shatters your mirror let me know, ill look at it and it will assemble itself back on its own.

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book