Roses are red Violets are blue Im a serial killer So GTFO before i kill you

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"Are you my Appendix? Because I have a funny feeling in my stomach that makes me feel like I should take you out." "I charge $80 with anesthesia, $40 without."

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Man: Hey you female? Cuz I am a horny man and... *door slams*

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Guy : Hey, there's a party in my pants. Wanna join? ;] Girl : Can't, I'm allergic to crabs.

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Are you a Potato? Because I love Potatoes.

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Boy: How much does a Polarbear weigh? Girl: How much? Boy: Just as much as me, hi my name is Ahron

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-hey girl, you must be a pirate cause you got a lot of booty

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M. Excuse me Miss. You have seamen on the back of your jacket. W. Are you sure? It could just be Yoghurt. M. Most Definitely. I don't Cum Yoghurt.

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-I heard you broke up :). -Yes, cookies to put in my ice cream!

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-Heyyy there (; -Im lesbian.

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Man: (in indian accent) HELLO I AM VERY RICH INDIAN MAN, I HAVE COLLECTION OF EXPENSIVE CARS AND LIMOS, I TAKE LADY HOME AND MAKE SWEET LOVE TO HER, THEN GIVE HER LOTSA JEWELS AND MONEY! Woman: Cool ill come home with you. Man: Uh... can you lend me money for the bus?

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Did it hurt? When you fell from the whore tree and banged everyone on the way down?

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Whatever I'll just date myself.

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Intro music with slow motion running starts as I shut off the tv forever

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Would you like to be the lone mother of my children?

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free candy....

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What happens when a drunk swedish man prank calls 911 from a local bar? The ambulance comes

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Hey big girl ;), why you alone? You ate all of your friends?

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Your so hot my pants will explode if I don't take them off now...

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Man: Wanna come to my place? Woman: Maybe if you take of the ski-mask and black clothing... Man: But then you'll ruin the surprise! :(

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There's a reason why they call my penis the Bunker Buster.

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Let's not turn this rape into a murder..

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M: Woah I am drunk baby... But I gotta say... you`re the hottest bitch in town! B: Bark bark!

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Man: Well I usually do not bang women your uh... particular size, I mean you are a bit too big for me and um... I got standards... nothing personal but... I uh.. well ok lets try... I guess I stick it here and... Man2: HEY what the hell are you doing to my trailer you drunk bastard! Moral: Standards... we all have it.... just not that much of it...

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!