my girlfriend is really insecure about her weight so much so that I'm thinking about detaching the reverse alarm

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Moral: Hey, how you doing? ;) Woman: Moral? Are you that guy that signs all his posts on horsecrapz network and adds miscellaneous notes? Moral: Yep that's me ;) Woman: OMG LIKE EWWW! Id never do you! Moral: Uh, when did even make such a suggestion? Moral:Well I am married...

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roses are red violets are blue My dog gives me a bigger orgasm then you

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-Your father must be an alien because your out of this world -More like out of your league

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Hey girl, I am a rich guy with a huge estate and stuff, while you live under a cardboard box so... Your place or mine? Both, I to your place, and you to mine.

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-Adam, am I the only girl in your life? -Who else is there?

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-Hi miss are you a ketchup? -hey is this some corny pick-up line?,,,okay fine. why? -because I want to dip my hot dog to you

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On a scale from 1 to 10, can I get your number?

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How much do you love me? Look at the stars and count them Bu-but it's afternoon Exactly

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Male: Baby, I am God's gift to this earth! Female: Well, if I take a receipt up to Heaven, can I exchange you for someone better?

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-Your the hottest girl i have ever met -I'm a man

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-So...wanna come back to my place? -I Dont Know If two people can fit in a box on the street.

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Q: How did the baby cross the road A: He was stapled to the chicken

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are u an angle because i have a boner oh what fail

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Do you why I know we're going to have sex tonight?

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Man: Hey you female? Cuz I am a horny man and... *door slams*

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Guy - Did it hurt? Girl - Giving birth to my triplets? Yes, it was like shitting a walrus.

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Guy: You look like a suitable mate and I'd thoroughly enjoy engaging in rough, sweaty sex with you and your lady parts.

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F: I AM SO DRUNK AND HORNY I COULD FUCK ANYONE M: Hey, wanna fuck? F: I SAID ANYONE.. Not anything... Heck I got standards! Moral: Heck she has standards! Her dog is someone!

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sHe; Theirs a "L" in love. he; and theirs a L in Lick my penis.

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Man: Your tag's showing. It says "Made in Heaven". Woman: *Proceeds to leak period blood into a puddle at the man's feet and walks away in silence*

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-Can I get your Number? -29435566 (see if you can get it.)

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Are you from tennessee? Because your inbred and retarted.

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Man: Hello there young lady, I am Elton John and I would very much like to have sex with you! Girl: OMG ITS... Wait! Wow you look a lot like him! But you cannot be real lol *leaves* Man: Man... I look and dress just like him! What could have gone wrong? Man getting the operation cost me a fortune too! Next time I am gonna try Freddie Mercury! Moral: "Dats gay Fifthy cen... I mean Gangstalicious!"

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!