Hey giiiiiiiiiiirl, I'm no Flinstone but I can make your bedrock.

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hey girl, whats your sign? slippery when wet.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have a gun Get in the van

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- I put the STD in STUD, all I need is U - ...

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Are you a speeding, aggressive driver? Because your running straight up my ass

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you know what rhymes with hug me LET'S HAVE SEX

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Wife: I have a confession to tell you my wife said to me one day... Before we got together I was raped by a masked man and I really liked it. Me: I know.

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Sorry, I don't wanna date a guy who's best pickup line is cocaine.

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-How did your date go last night? -It was going alright but then I started crying uncontrollably. -Nervous habit? -Pepper spray.

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Man: Your tag's showing. It says "Made in Heaven". Woman: *Proceeds to leak period blood into a puddle at the man's feet and walks away in silence*

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- Are you from Tennessee bec- - Yes

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You look just like my sister! That's funny,... CUZ IM A DUDE

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Male: Did it hurt??? Female: What, when I fell from heaven? Male: No, the first time you did anal!!!

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Man: Hey you are so pretty I bet you are a hooker! Woman: Uh.. thanks but no.. Man: Damn... I was hoping to get laid tonight...

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I have one thing to say to all the woman who look at me as a sex object. Hey.

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Man: Wanna come to my place? Woman: Maybe if you take of the ski-mask and black clothing... Man: But then you'll ruin the surprise! :(

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(boy gives flowers to a girl) Girl: Are these for me? Boy: Nope, I just want you to hold them for me for a second..

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Hey girl, you must have fallen from heaven, because you're so old you should have died already and so ugly that they must have kicked you out as soon as you got there.

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Did you gain weight? Because I think your gravitational pull towards me just increased.

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Man: I would kill anyone at anytime for a kiss from you. Woman: Kill yourself now.

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Is that a mirror in your pants? We should have sex immediately.

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-Did you just fart? Cause you blew me away.

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my girlfriend is really insecure about her weight so much so that I'm thinking about detaching the reverse alarm

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My friends just bet me 50 dollars that I couldn't pick you up if I came over and spoke with you, would you like a few free drinks on their money?

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!