-Did you just fart? Cause you blew me away.

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Sorry, I don't wanna date a guy who's best pickup line is cocaine.

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Q: How did the baby cross the road A: He was stapled to the chicken

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I have one thing to say to all the woman who look at me as a sex object. Hey.

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-Hey baby, are you from Tennessee? Because you're like a solid 7.

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the word of the day is legs lets go to your house and spread the word

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-You wanna get laid tonight? -You wanna never have sex again?

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Did it hurt when you fell from heaven and banged every guy on the way down?

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I'm desperate, you'll do.

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My friends just bet me 50 dollars that I couldn't pick you up if I came over and spoke with you, would you like a few free drinks on their money?

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- Hey, I have 40 minutes to live and need to feel the touch of a woman to live. -I'm a dude.

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It that a tsunami in your panties or are you excited to see me.. :)

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I thought you were cute, so the voices told me to come say hi.

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Hey gorgeous what are you drinking? Cyanide.

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"I'd like to get you out of those clothes. Really, they aren't very flattering. That color looks awful on you and those pants make you look fat."

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bitch: I like it when guys punch me. Me: I love it when you shut the hell up and leave.

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Hey lady, you're really, really cute! Let's go out in the woods, GET NAKED and have sex!

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Hey girl, want to meet the guy with the largest dick in town ;)? Wow yeah sure! Yeah that would be like cool rite? Moral: The biggest? *looks down pants* Meh!

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here's 20p, phone your Mum... she'll be the last person you ever speak to so be nice

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Wanna come home to my star destroyer and play with my lightsaber? No? How about just a trip down the Enterprise bridge to have fun with my romulans?... if you know what I mean? ;) ;)

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-Hi miss are you a ketchup? -hey is this some corny pick-up line?,,,okay fine. why? -because I want to dip my hot dog to you

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As original as it gets: Domestical... Dog with a top hat and monocle: Yap Yap! *wiggles tail* woof woof! Dog?: MEOW!! HISS! *scratches dog and throws her drink at his face or you know... something that increases dramatic tension* and leaves. Dog: HOWL! *whimpers* :( *throws top hat away* Moral: They say every dog has his day, but I do not think this relationship was never meant to work out :(

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Man: Wanna come to my place? Woman: Maybe if you take of the ski-mask and black clothing... Man: But then you'll ruin the surprise! :(

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(boy gives flowers to a girl) Girl: Are these for me? Boy: Nope, I just want you to hold them for me for a second..

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!