Boy: Did it hurt? Girl: *sigh* Did what hurt? (Expecting him to say "When you fell from heaven") Boy: When you broke through the earths crust, ascending from hell.

Do you why I know we're going to have sex tonight?

As original as things get: Pickup in the future! Android: Greetings Alpha six zero zero,requesting access code for insertion of my intercourse-D.I.C.K card into your V.A.G 2.0 intercourse receiver! Another Android: Access granted Zero six nine eight, engaging card...System! Deactivate mini-android production systems and engage cooldown systems to avoid critical overheats, lubricate essentials for easy access, I have no entry code, engage at once! Moral: I honestly thought it would end up in failure, but damn androids are easy!

In regard to the post below. I'm not even joking, one of my mates actually said that to a girl.

me- hey baby wanna hve sexual intercourse girl- sure because using the word intercourse in a sentence tunrs me on.

-Can I get your Number? -29435566 (see if you can get it.)

I have one thing to say to all the woman who look at me as a sex object. Hey.

Hey girl, I am a rich guy with a huge estate and stuff, while you live under a cardboard box so... Your place or mine? Both, I to your place, and you to mine.

you know what rhymes with hug me LET'S HAVE SEX

Hey girl, you must have fallen from heaven, because you're so old you should have died already and so ugly that they must have kicked you out as soon as you got there.

Did it hurt when you fell from heaven and banged every guy on the way down?

i would drag my balls through miles of broken glass, just to hear you fart through a walkey-talkey

male- are you from Tenessee female- why? am I the only ten you see? male- no, i was just going to say you look a little inbred.

Boy-Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Girl-Not until I heard that horrible pick-up line.

Woman- is your penis erect? Male- no just FULL SIZED Woman- woah

what's a girl like you doing in a nice place like this?

your boobs are bigger than my nose

GUY- Are you from heaven.....cuz it sure as hell doesn't look like it.

Wanna come home to my star destroyer and play with my lightsaber? No? How about just a trip down the Enterprise bridge to have fun with my romulans?... if you know what I mean? ;) ;)

Women love it when you kiss their neck. Just not while they are driving and while you're in the back seat and when they don't know you...

Man: Comon babe a little BJ wont hurt anyone get down..... Woman: sorry im alergic to peanuts

-Hi miss are you a ketchup? -hey is this some corny pick-up line?,,,okay fine. why? -because I want to dip my hot dog to you

“I've been looking for a girl like you - not you, but a girl like you.” (Groucho Marx)

You look just like my sister! That's funny,... CUZ IM A DUDE

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!