- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

I have never dated a horse-faced woman before :)

girl - leave! boy - no girl - leave now! boy - i cant girl - why boy - i broke my foot girl - oh

man: may I impale you on my stake? woman: O.o (for goth girls)

Roses are red, Violets are blue, The holocaust was a disaster, and so are you.

Monday went by and he didn't see her Tuesday was the same Wednesday came and the swelling had finally gone down for him to make his wife out

M: Your clothes look great on you. They would even better on my floor. F: No they wouldn't, they would just get dirty. M: You and me should get dirty then. F: Why would I want to get dirty, I'm perfectly fine being clean?

Charmeleon is Red, Squirtle is Blue, If you were a Pokemon, I'd choose you.

Hello im a thief and I'm here to steal your purse

Guy: wow! Why are you naked and on top of me? Girl: What are you talking about! We are at a bar! Guy: Oh sorry I am a psychic and keep getting flashes of the near future...

Him: Nice legs. What time do they open? Her: Members only, I'm afraid,

Why are peploe gieving me thums up al of soodden? Moral: Its scawwy, normally the moral is what protects my genius comments from getting thumbed up.

Man with huge arms and HUGE muscles enters a... pub! (for variety`s sake) "Hey you like fisting!" Woman: Yeah kinda.. I mean HOLY SHIT NO! I DONT PLEASE STOP NO NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRGHHHHHHHHH! Moral: Get a room you two! (a moral man original)

GUY- Are you from heaven.....cuz it sure as hell doesn't look like it.

Man: Put your face over my fist as I say shinku Woman: Huh? Ok whatever.... SHOOOOOOOOOORYUKEEEEEEN!

Have you just been fishing? The strong fishy smell seems to be coming from you.

You seem rapable enough... wanna see some back alleys with me?

Criminals are even more smarter these days My wife woke me up in the middle of the night and said that there were burglars downstairs so I went quietly looking for them when I realised I'm not married

Nero: My name is Nero... Woman: Why I mean you aint black? Nero: Sure about that? Moral: In the Darkness... We are all the same...

-How much do you love me? -Count the stars in the sky and you'll know. -But it's the morning. -Exactly.

so how long have you been a bald ghost wombat?

Him: I'd go through anything for you. Her: The exit's over there.

Man and woman in bed: Man: You know I am somewhat a deviant right? Woman: Sure but I am drunk so lets just do it.. Man: I AM SO GONNA BANG YOU! (Man throws dynamite at woman) Woman: WHAT THE FUUUUUUUUUUU Moral: BANG INDEED... case closed.

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book