are u an angle because i have a boner oh what fail

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Are you the sun? Because you need to stay about 92,960,000 miles away from me.

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Man: Dayuuuum *slaps ass* Woman: I just took a shit in my pants and you smacked it.

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Man : Wanna go to my house tonight? Woman : I'm not sure if a rock can fit 2 people inside.

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Male: It's super hard and long. Female: I have always been under the impression that the GED is relatively simple.

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girl, are you a christian? Sure... Do you believe in me? I dont even know you! Well, met God? No? You love him!

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-You wanna get laid tonight? -You wanna never have sex again?

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You look just like my sister! That's funny,... CUZ IM A DUDE

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Hello im a thief and I'm here to steal your purse

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Man: Your body is a tempe! Woman: Sorry, no services today.

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-Did you just fart? Cause you blew me away.

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A: Wanna go get some pizza and then have sex at my place?? B: No.. B: U don't like pizza? Some chinees then?

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Hey girl, you must have fallen from heaven, because you're so old you should have died already and so ugly that they must have kicked you out as soon as you got there.

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I'm desperate, you'll do.

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Hey :) Hi Do you like me? :) No :'( You never asked if i loved you... Awhhhh do you love me :) No

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-I heard you broke up :). -Yes, cookies to put in my ice cream!

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-Hi miss are you a ketchup? -hey is this some corny pick-up line?,,,okay fine. why? -because I want to dip my hot dog to you

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Guy: You look like a suitable mate and I'd thoroughly enjoy engaging in rough, sweaty sex with you and your lady parts.

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Couple in bed: Woman: I want some variation... you into roleplay? Man: Sure! Woman: Ok, Ill be a hot housemaid... Man: OK but they have little mana so... ill be a firemage! Woman: Huh? Man: SHHHH! its not your time to attack yet! Moral: Geeks...

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Is that a ladder in your tights or are you just a cheap whore?!

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How much do you love me? Look at the stars and count them Bu-but it's afternoon Exactly

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I thought you were cute, so the voices told me to come say hi.

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Hey gorgeous what are you drinking? Cyanide.

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-Your the hottest girl i have ever met -I'm a man

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!