- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Did it hurt when you fell from heaven... Because it looks like you landed on your face!

Man: Wanna come to my place? Woman: Maybe if you take of the ski-mask and black clothing... Man: But then you'll ruin the surprise! :(

I just killed my wife. What should I do?

B: Hey C do you wanna go out with me? C: Sorry B I only go out with guy's who come after me

Charmeleon is Red, Squirtle is Blue, If you were a Pokemon, I'd choose you.

-Your the hottest girl i have ever met -I'm a man

guy: If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put U and I together Girl: Its a good thing N and O are already together

GUY- Are you from heaven.....cuz it sure as hell doesn't look like it.

free candy....

Have you just been fishing? The strong fishy smell seems to be coming from you.

I have never dated a horse-faced woman before :)

Girls hate me, they always discuss about how they regret fucking with me over and over again. Moral: Thumb me down, I know ya love me.

Can you leave your door unlocked and your underwear drawer open when you go to work?

Roses are red, Violets are blue, The holocaust was a disaster, and so are you.

Monday went by and he didn't see her Tuesday was the same Wednesday came and the swelling had finally gone down for him to make his wife out

M: Your clothes look great on you. They would even better on my floor. F: No they wouldn't, they would just get dirty. M: You and me should get dirty then. F: Why would I want to get dirty, I'm perfectly fine being clean?

so how long have you been a bald ghost wombat?

My friends just bet me 50 dollars that I couldn't pick you up if I came over and spoke with you, would you like a few free drinks on their money?

Male: are you from Tennessee? Because you're the only ten I see. Female: no, I'm from Idaho. Because I da ho.

Man: Hey lady... you new here? I havent seen you around here before ;) Woman: Im your wife! >:/ Man: Which one of them? I have married so many sluts just to get sex with them... that I forget about...

Male: Did it hurt??? Female: What, when I fell from heaven? Male: No, the first time you did anal!!!

Guy: Hi, I am sexually attracted to you. May I walk over to the bar and purchase you a drink and then another and then another untill you become intoxicated and more likely to allow me to have sexual intercourse with you? Girl: You speak funny. Get lost.

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book