Hey big girl ;), why you alone? You ate all of your friends?

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Man : Wanna go to my house tonight? Woman : I'm not sure if a rock can fit 2 people inside.

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Waiter- For you, sir? Male: I'll have a Strawberry Daquiri, non-alcoholic, please. Waiter- And, for your company? Male: For her, a long-island-iced-tea, with a twist of Rohypnol.

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If i could rearrange the alphabet, i would put U and G and L and Y together because that is what you are.

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-Your father must be an alien because your out of this world -More like out of your league

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Man: Hey you female? Cuz I am a horny man and... *door slams*

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2 fake blondes hitting on me. blondes: we're twins! me: so where are you from? blonde1: canada! blonde2 (at the same time): finland!

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4 out of 5 people enjoy being gangraped

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Man - I know I don't look like much now, but I'm drinking milk. Woman - Not mine!

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“I've been looking for a girl like you - not you, but a girl like you.” (Groucho Marx)

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(boy gives flowers to a girl) Girl: Are these for me? Boy: Nope, I just want you to hold them for me for a second..

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You're gorgeous! Can you smell that? Oh god it's awful!

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-Hey, what's your sign? -I don't know, but yours must be Cancer.

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bitch: I like it when guys punch me. Me: I love it when you shut the hell up and leave.

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Did you gain weight? Because I think your gravitational pull towards me just increased.

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Boy: Did it hurt? Girl: *sigh* Did what hurt? (Expecting him to say "When you fell from heaven") Boy: When you broke through the earths crust, ascending from hell.

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As original as things get: Pickup in the future! Android: Greetings Alpha six zero zero,requesting access code for insertion of my intercourse-D.I.C.K card into your V.A.G 2.0 intercourse receiver! Another Android: Access granted Zero six nine eight, engaging card...System! Deactivate mini-android production systems and engage cooldown systems to avoid critical overheats, lubricate essentials for easy access, I have no entry code, engage at once! Moral: I honestly thought it would end up in failure, but damn androids are easy!

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hey babe, are you made of copper, tellerium, tungsten and iridium? because i like people made of copper, tellerium, tungsten and iridium.

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I have a knife, Maddie. Get in the van.

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Man: Wanna come to my place? Woman: Maybe if you take of the ski-mask and black clothing... Man: But then you'll ruin the surprise! :(

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Hey, I may not be too smart, I may not have a big dick, I may not be strong nor cool, but at least I uh...

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The word of the day is ass, lets go upstairs and observe the word.

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I'm desperate, you'll do.

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Can I go to your house and play with your Jigglypuff?

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!