I put the STD in STuD all i need is U!

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Dont people ever get tired of PRETENDING like they dont need others aproval? I NEED APPROVAL I NEED APPROVAL! Moral: I REALLY DO! YEEEEEEEEES BECAUSE...Uh...you matter more than me? Nah, nothing like that, only I matter more than you...

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Boy: does your face hurt Girl: No. Why Boy Because it sure is hurting me

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Him: Nice legs. What time do they open? Her: Members only, I'm afraid,

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How about you swing by my place so we can do some complex algebraic functions.

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B: Hey C do you wanna go out with me? C: Sorry B I only go out with guy's who come after me

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Online Desperate Asians.com Man: Wow you are a cute asian girl! Where are you from? Girl: Thanks my name Aoi is I am from Japan, you look like nice older man! Man: Japan? Awesome! Remember when we nuked the hell out of your country? Happy days! SLAP A JAP! *Connection discontinued* Man: Eh really sorry, I just get nervous when I meet girls especially the cutest ones... Man: hello?

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- If i could rearange the alphabet i'd puit you and i together. - That's not necessary because N and O are already together.

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Boy: did it hurt when you fell from heaven Girl: I'm a antsiest

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- How 'bout we go to your place and take a shower together? - I think my husband and little baby would get a kick out of that!

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GUY- Are you from heaven.....cuz it sure as hell doesn't look like it.

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And then it hit me.....no really now I'm bleeding

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I am Lucifer, my color is blue I already got my queen TO HELL WITH YOU! Moral: Know my name and fear it, I am now and forever.

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Male: Paper or plastic? Female: What? Male: Paper or plastic, you know, to put over your head.

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-Good afternoon miss, would you care to try our new line of perfume? -Sure what's it called? -Chloroform...

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hey i know spanish french german russian and Punjabi. got a talented tongue ;)

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-How much does a polar bear weigh? -It is impossible to know the exact weight of a polar bear where no scale or bear are present.

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One hot summer night in 1960, Steve had his first date with Susie. He went to pick her up and her mom answered the door. She invited him in, and asked him what they planned to do on their date. Steve replied that they’d probably see a movie then get a burger. Susie’s mom said, “Well, Susie really likes to screw.” Steve said, “Huh?” Her mom said, “Yes, she loves it. She could probably screw all night.” “Okay, thanks!” replied Steve, mentally rearranging his plans for the night. A few minutes later Susie came downstairs and they left on their date. About a half hour later Susie came running back in the house, her clothes disheveled, and yelled: “Mom, it’s called the TWIST! The name of the goddamn dance is the TWIST!”

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Man: Put your face over my fist as I say shinku Woman: Huh? Ok whatever.... SHOOOOOOOOOORYUKEEEEEEN!

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there is a 50% chance that we make s** tonight from my side i agree

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I just killed my wife. What should I do?

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Men. We must always hold the door open, Pull the chairs out and pay for our women whilst remembering to treat them as equals.

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Man: I will make the rape on you now woman! Woman: Wow great Borat imitation bravo! Man: Borat who? *draws gun* Moral: Pretty immoral

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you look like my mother

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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