Woman- is your penis erect? Male- no just FULL SIZED Woman- woah

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You look just like my sister! That's funny,... CUZ IM A DUDE

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-Can I get your Number? -29435566 (see if you can get it.)

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what's a girl like you doing in a nice place like this?

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Flipping a coin to give you my number or not to give you my number

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-Want my number? -I already know it. It's 1. -Phone numbers have more then one digit... -Oh, I thought we were referring to your IQ level...my bad.

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2 fake blondes hitting on me. blondes: we're twins! me: so where are you from? blonde1: canada! blonde2 (at the same time): finland!

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I have never dated a horse-faced woman before :)

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- Hey, I have 40 minutes to live and need to feel the touch of a woman to live. -I'm a dude.

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Sorry, I don't wanna date a guy who's best pickup line is cocaine.

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Superman: I bet I can bang you faster than the speed of light! Woman: OOOOH! OK DO IT! Superman... uh... I already did it 30 times already... "pant" "pant" Woman: uh... really? Uh... was I suppose to feel anythi... Moral: Since when has fast sex been good sex?

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Damn gurl, are you a microwave? Cause for sure you are burning me hot.

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GUY- Are you from heaven.....cuz it sure as hell doesn't look like it.

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Do you why I know we're going to have sex tonight?

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guy: hey baby come join the PEN15 club with mee ;) girl: whats that?? guy: come and i will show you...*goes into the guys restroom with her*....lets go to the restroom and never rest...except you can rest on my PEN15

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Ay Girl. Lemme squirtle on yo jigglypuffs

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I'll punch ya!

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Are you from tennessee? Cuz it looks like your missing some teeth.

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F: I AM SO DRUNK AND HORNY I COULD FUCK ANYONE M: Hey, wanna fuck? F: I SAID ANYONE.. Not anything... Heck I got standards! Moral: Heck she has standards! Her dog is someone!

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Boy: Did it hurt? Girl: *sigh* Did what hurt? (Expecting him to say "When you fell from heaven") Boy: When you broke through the earths crust, ascending from hell.

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Hey girl, I am a rich guy with a huge estate and stuff, while you live under a cardboard box so... Your place or mine? Both, I to your place, and you to mine.

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male- are you from Tenessee female- why? am I the only ten you see? male- no, i was just going to say you look a little inbred.

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Male: Baby, I am God's gift to this earth! Female: Well, if I take a receipt up to Heaven, can I exchange you for someone better?

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-Your father must be an alien because your out of this world -More like out of your league

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!