Guy: Did you use Windex on your pants? Girl: No, why? Guy: Because I see myself in your pants.

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-Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? -I'm an atheist.

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Boy: Did it hurt? Girl: Did what hurt? Boy: When you burst through the asphalt, emerging from the depths of hell.

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Male: Paper or plastic? Female: What? Male: Paper or plastic, you know, to put over your head.

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Male: Hey do you wanna come back to my place? Female: Sorry i only sleep with dead bodies.

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- Professor Dumbledore, where are we? - You're dead, stupid. Snape trolled you.

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He: You are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. She: You are so handsome when you keep your mouth shut.

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-Did you just fart? Cause you blew me away.

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Put the lotion on the skin!

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- Did it hurt? - What? - When you were catapaulted from the firey bowels of Hell?

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Was your dad a thief? Because he's in jail

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Hello im a thief and I'm here to steal your purse

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What happens when a drunk swedish man prank calls 911 from a local bar? The ambulance comes

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-How much does a polar bear weigh? -It is impossible to know the exact weight of a polar bear where no scale or bear are present.

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girl - holy sausage! boy - what happen! girl - i broke my foot! boy - oh!

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he: hey,do you have a phone? she: yeah! why,do you want it? he: no,you should consider selling it and doing a plastic surgery with the money.

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Boy: How much does a Polarbear weigh? Girl: How much? Boy: Just as much as me, hi my name is Ahron

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Male: (Pulls Female in close, strokes her hair, and mutters 'My precious' over and over to himself)

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-hey girl, you must be a pirate cause you got a lot of booty

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Man: Do you work at Subway? Girl: Why? Did I just give u a 6 inch?

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Huge blue man: I AM THE APOCALYPSE! YOU ARE NOT FIT TO SURVIVE! Woman: EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK! Huge blue man: "facepalm" THIS GAME, IS OVER! Moral: Dont start out too strong...

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While I am certain that the police consider you a person of interest, I assure you I do not.

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Hold me pint love i'm going for a dump.

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-How much do you love me? -Count the stars in the sky and you'll know. -But it's the morning. -Exactly.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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