-Can I get your Number? -29435566 (see if you can get it.)

Superman: I bet I can bang you faster than the speed of light! Woman: OOOOH! OK DO IT! Superman... uh... I already did it 30 times already... "pant" "pant" Woman: uh... really? Uh... was I suppose to feel anythi... Moral: Since when has fast sex been good sex?

Woman: Ugh I wish I could remember who you are, I mean you could even have Aids or H.I.V... Man: Hey yo don worry, Dogta tol `d I am positive so thats that Moral: The H.I.V awareness group was a message: We will go literally f/ck ourselves to death have a nice day.

-Want my number? -I already know it. It's 1. -Phone numbers have more then one digit... -Oh, I thought we were referring to your IQ level...my bad.

Boy: Did it hurt? Girl: Did what hurt? Boy: When you burst through the asphalt, emerging from the depths of hell.

Do you why I know we're going to have sex tonight?

Man: Hey you female? Cuz I am a horny man and... *door slams*

he: hey,do you have a phone? she: yeah! why,do you want it? he: no,you should consider selling it and doing a plastic surgery with the money.

I have a knife, Maddie. Get in the van.

Guy: I got you a gift. It's a Necklace. Girl: Awww thats so nice. Guy: BAZINGA Its my dick.

Are you from tennessee? Because your inbred and retarted.

F: I AM SO DRUNK AND HORNY I COULD FUCK ANYONE M: Hey, wanna fuck? F: I SAID ANYONE.. Not anything... Heck I got standards! Moral: Heck she has standards! Her dog is someone!

Q: How did the baby cross the road A: He was stapled to the chicken

Hey girl, I am a rich guy with a huge estate and stuff, while you live under a cardboard box so... Your place or mine? Both, I to your place, and you to mine.

Women love it when you kiss their neck. Just not while they are driving and while you're in the back seat and when they don't know you...

Guy : your looking well! Girl: awh thanks Guy: You must have shaved this morning.....waaaaaay

Boy-Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Girl-Not until I heard that horrible pick-up line.

A blond, a brunette and a black haired girl are all stuck on an island....stupid women.

Hey gorgeous what are you drinking? Cyanide.

You look just like my sister! That's funny,... CUZ IM A DUDE

Boy: Did it hurt? Girl: *sigh* Did what hurt? (Expecting him to say "When you fell from heaven") Boy: When you broke through the earths crust, ascending from hell.

I have one thing to say to all the woman who look at me as a sex object. Hey.

Wanna come home to my star destroyer and play with my lightsaber? No? How about just a trip down the Enterprise bridge to have fun with my romulans?... if you know what I mean? ;) ;)

Man: Comon babe a little BJ wont hurt anyone get down..... Woman: sorry im alergic to peanuts

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!