You are the personification of beauty. ,..Wanna Shag?

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He: You are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. She: You are so handsome when you keep your mouth shut.

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"is that a ladder in your tights? or a fire escape for the crabs?"

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I'll punch ya!

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you look like my mother

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Girl, wanna fuck rite now? Sure! Man! You are such a hoe! *walks away disgusted* Moral: Be careful for what you ask for.

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you know what rhymes with hug me LET'S HAVE SEX

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man: may I impale you on my stake? woman: O.o (for goth girls)

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Why are peploe gieving me thums up al of soodden? Moral: Its scawwy, normally the moral is what protects my genius comments from getting thumbed up.

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Are you doing push-ups with your knees down? Cuz im not sure if this is working out.

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-Did you just fart? Cause you blew me away.

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While I am certain that the police consider you a person of interest, I assure you I do not.

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Hey ladies ;) I like to post lots of anti-pickuplines! ;) Girls: WOW! I WANNA JOIN YOU HOME! ME TOO ME TOO! The anti-part: This will never happen in real life.

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Him - Would you like to dance? Her - NO! Him - I'm sorry. I think you misunderstood me. I said, "You look fat in those pants."

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Man: Your rejections cannot hurt me! Im the JuggernautBitch! *grabs couch* WHOAAAAAAAAAARGH! Woman: *dead* Man: Jugs got jugs! Hey wake up bitch! HEY! I said wake up!... Moral: Works every time

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Man: Hello there young lady, I am Elton John and I would very much like to have sex with you! Girl: OMG ITS... Wait! Wow you look a lot like him! But you cannot be real lol *leaves* Man: Man... I look and dress just like him! What could have gone wrong? Man getting the operation cost me a fortune too! Next time I am gonna try Freddie Mercury! Moral: "Dats gay Fifthy cen... I mean Gangstalicious!"

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HONEY! I SEE MEDUSA!!!!!!!!!!! oh wait, it was just you

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Male: Hey do you wanna come back to my place? Female: Sorry i only sleep with dead bodies.

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Man: GET IN THE VAN! Woman: NO! Man: Well... How about the Limo? Its got beverages and caviar and... Woman: OOH :D Moral: Always go for the limo first,

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-Heyyy there (; -Im lesbian.

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- Yo baby can I have your number? - Sure! My number is one *sticks up middle finger*

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Guy - Do you want to go outside and play rapee? Girl - No, Guy - That's the spirit

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Man: Hey baby, I hear you are lesbian, that sounds really sexy! ;) Woman: Take the damn hint asshole! I am a lesbian! Man: Hey! Woah! Relax! I already know where you come from, say, are all girls in Lesbia this hostile? Moral: They are friendlier in south Lesbia...

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Put the lotion on the skin!

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!