I'll punch ya!

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you look like my mother

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"is that a ladder in your tights? or a fire escape for the crabs?"

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man: may I impale you on my stake? woman: O.o (for goth girls)

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Why are peploe gieving me thums up al of soodden? Moral: Its scawwy, normally the moral is what protects my genius comments from getting thumbed up.

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Are you doing push-ups with your knees down? Cuz im not sure if this is working out.

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-Did you just fart? Cause you blew me away.

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Man: Hey you look good enough to do Woman: Oh really because so does my 8 foot boyfriend. Man: ... Woman: Do you want me to pick him up from the gym?

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Hey ladies ;) I like to post lots of anti-pickuplines! ;) Girls: WOW! I WANNA JOIN YOU HOME! ME TOO ME TOO! The anti-part: This will never happen in real life.

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Him - Would you like to dance? Her - NO! Him - I'm sorry. I think you misunderstood me. I said, "You look fat in those pants."

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Man: Your rejections cannot hurt me! Im the JuggernautBitch! *grabs couch* WHOAAAAAAAAAARGH! Woman: *dead* Man: Jugs got jugs! Hey wake up bitch! HEY! I said wake up!... Moral: Works every time

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HONEY! I SEE MEDUSA!!!!!!!!!!! oh wait, it was just you

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you know what rhymes with hug me LET'S HAVE SEX

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Male: Hey do you wanna come back to my place? Female: Sorry i only sleep with dead bodies.

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Man: GET IN THE VAN! Woman: NO! Man: Well... How about the Limo? Its got beverages and caviar and... Woman: OOH :D Moral: Always go for the limo first,

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- Yo baby can I have your number? - Sure! My number is one *sticks up middle finger*

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Guy - Do you want to go outside and play rapee? Girl - No, Guy - That's the spirit

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Man: Hey baby, I hear you are lesbian, that sounds really sexy! ;) Woman: Take the damn hint asshole! I am a lesbian! Man: Hey! Woah! Relax! I already know where you come from, say, are all girls in Lesbia this hostile? Moral: They are friendlier in south Lesbia...

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While I am certain that the police consider you a person of interest, I assure you I do not.

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Put the lotion on the skin!

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- Did it hurt? - What? - When you were catapaulted from the firey bowels of Hell?

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Was your dad a thief? Because he's in jail

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Man: Hello there young lady, I am Elton John and I would very much like to have sex with you! Girl: OMG ITS... Wait! Wow you look a lot like him! But you cannot be real lol *leaves* Man: Man... I look and dress just like him! What could have gone wrong? Man getting the operation cost me a fortune too! Next time I am gonna try Freddie Mercury! Moral: "Dats gay Fifthy cen... I mean Gangstalicious!"

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-Heyyy there (; -Im lesbian.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!