what's a girl like you doing in a nice place like this?

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Boy: Did it hurt? Girl: Did what hurt? Boy: When you burst through the asphalt, emerging from the depths of hell.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

-Want my number? -I already know it. It's 1. -Phone numbers have more then one digit... -Oh, I thought we were referring to your IQ level...my bad.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Damn gurl, are you a microwave? Cause for sure you are burning me hot.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Hey girl, I am a rich guy with a huge estate and stuff, while you live under a cardboard box so... Your place or mine? Both, I to your place, and you to mine.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Do you why I know we're going to have sex tonight?

thumb_up thumb_down -14

-I heard you broke up :). -Yes, cookies to put in my ice cream!

thumb_up thumb_down -38

he: hey,do you have a phone? she: yeah! why,do you want it? he: no,you should consider selling it and doing a plastic surgery with the money.

thumb_up thumb_down -46

Man: Hello there! I am a gynecologist, may I study your vagina? Woman: NO! Man: DAMN THIS ONE NEVER WORKS! DAMMIT! Moral: Duh...

thumb_up thumb_down +133

Guy: I got you a gift. It's a Necklace. Girl: Awww thats so nice. Guy: BAZINGA Its my dick.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

-Can I get your Number? -29435566 (see if you can get it.)

thumb_up thumb_down +37

-Hi miss are you a catchup? -hey is this some corny pick-up line?,,,okay fine. why? -because I want to dip my hotdog to you

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Man: Hey you female? Cuz I am a horny man and... *door slams*

thumb_up thumb_down -33

If I asked you out on a date, would your answer to that question be the same as your answer to this question?

thumb_up thumb_down -49

Boy-Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Girl-Not until I heard that horrible pick-up line.

thumb_up thumb_down -59

Superman: I bet I can bang you faster than the speed of light! Woman: OOOOH! OK DO IT! Superman... uh... I already did it 30 times already... "pant" "pant" Woman: uh... really? Uh... was I suppose to feel anythi... Moral: Since when has fast sex been good sex?

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Boy: Did it hurt? Girl: *sigh* Did what hurt? (Expecting him to say "When you fell from heaven") Boy: When you broke through the earths crust, ascending from hell.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Women love it when you kiss their neck. Just not while they are driving and while you're in the back seat and when they don't know you...

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Flipping a coin to give you my number or not to give you my number

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Are you from tennessee? Because your inbred and retarted.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Q: How did the baby cross the road A: He was stapled to the chicken

thumb_up thumb_down +5

I have one thing to say to all the woman who look at me as a sex object. Hey.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Guy : your looking well! Girl: awh thanks Guy: You must have shaved this morning.....waaaaaay

thumb_up thumb_down -39

Let's not turn this rape into a murder..

thumb_up thumb_down -85

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!