Man: Put your face over my fist as I say shinku Woman: Huh? Ok whatever.... SHOOOOOOOOOORYUKEEEEEEN!

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Man : Wanna go to my house tonight? Woman : I'm not sure if a rock can fit 2 people inside.

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On a scale from 1 to 10, can I get your number?

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Hey girl, ever tried a double dildo with a man before? ;)

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-Did you just fart? Cause you blew me away.

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Boy: Did it hurt? Girl: *sigh* Did what hurt? (Expecting him to say "When you fell from heaven") Boy: When you broke through the earths crust, ascending from hell.

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Hello im a thief and I'm here to steal your purse

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Guy -Are you from Tenessee? Girl -No. guy -oh, because you looked kinda southern.

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Man: Your body is a tempe! Woman: Sorry, no services today.

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Wanna come home to my star destroyer and play with my lightsaber? No? How about just a trip down the Enterprise bridge to have fun with my romulans?... if you know what I mean? ;) ;)

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Man: I would kill anyone at anytime for a kiss from you. Woman: Kill yourself now.

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girl, are you a christian? Sure... Do you believe in me? I dont even know you! Well, met God? No? You love him!

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A: Wanna go get some pizza and then have sex at my place?? B: No.. B: U don't like pizza? Some chinees then?

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Hey :) Hi Do you like me? :) No :'( You never asked if i loved you... Awhhhh do you love me :) No

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here's 20p, phone your Mum... she'll be the last person you ever speak to so be nice

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why did the boy laugh? A:he saw another boy get raped by a giant scorpian

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Man: DTF Cutey? Woman: DTF off Asshole?

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Did it hurt when you fell from heaven and banged every guy on the way down?

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Couple in bed: Woman: I want some variation... you into roleplay? Man: Sure! Woman: Ok, Ill be a hot housemaid... Man: OK but they have little mana so... ill be a firemage! Woman: Huh? Man: SHHHH! its not your time to attack yet! Moral: Geeks...

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- Hey, I have 40 minutes to live and need to feel the touch of a woman to live. -I'm a dude.

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In regard to the post below. I'm not even joking, one of my mates actually said that to a girl.

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How much does a whales weigh? How much? Just enough to make you look skinny.

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Man: If I were to rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together Woman: So, all you want to do is make MANJUICE? you disgust me...

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You look just like my sister! That's funny,... CUZ IM A DUDE

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!